TAMPA, FL—According to numerous sociologists and political experts, things that should never under any circumstance be spoken aloud in modern society will be said ...

WASHINGTON, PA—With the 2012-2013 academic year beginning this week, longtime James G. Blaine Elementary School teacher Suzanne Pomponio, 39, expressed her astonishment Wednesday at ...

Tampa Bay gay sex workers say they plan to rake in the cash sucking off secretly gay Republican politicians during the Republican National Convention.

LITCHFIELD, CT—Though she was initially upset following the brutal sexual assault last month that left her pregnant, victim Martha Byars told reporters she was ...

SWEETHAVEN VILLAGE—According to a report filed with the Sweethaven Police Department, the private residence of sailor man Popeye was violently boiglerized at approximately 4 ...

BROOKLINE, MA—According to sources who felt professionally obligated to attend, minute three of a management-sponsored after-work gathering at Freddy's Bar and Backroom remains ...

TAMPA, FL—Saying his life would be much harder and more complex if it were the case, local accountant Jonathon Farlow, 31, took a private ...

In an attempt to court the youth vote, Obama will star in the full-length Judd Apatow comedy "Commander In Steve" alongside James Franco and Seth ...

BROOKLYN, NY—Sitting in the living room of his apartment Wednesday, a visibly anxious Drew Johnson told reporters that, fuck, his roommates want to have ...

PASADENA, CA—Barely 72 hours after the landing of its Mars rover, NASA officials announced Thursday that their mission had ended, as Curiosity's two-gigabyte ...

WEST LEBANON, NH—After first learning of Barack Obama from a news broadcast last Friday, 29-year-old Aaron Chamberland said he has since been unable to ...

DUBLIN, OH—Responding to Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy's recent controversial admission of the company's donations to antigay groups, a statement from competing fast ...

DES MOINES, IA—Sitting down on their living room couches Friday after running a few household errands, mothers across the nation told their children today ...

CUPERTINO, CA—As part of an effort to boost smartphone sales following lower-than-expected third-quarter earnings, Apple announced today a new national advertising campaign urging users ...

PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA—One day after his marriage to Ri Sol-ju was officially announced on state television, North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un volunteered to ...

LOS ANGELES, NEW YORK, LONDON, PARIS, CHICAGO, BOSTON, MIAMI, ELSEWHERE—Responding to Anderson Cooper, Frank Ocean, Emma Stone, Kelsey Grammer, Zooey Deschanel, and Jimmy Kimmel ...

ATLANTA—As part of its recent efforts to publicly align itself with fundamentalist Christian values, the Chick-fil-A restaurant chain announced today the debut of its ...