Parents
Mom Really Funny Today
KENSINGTON, MD—Local teens James Ripley, 17, and David Ripley, 14, expressed surprise today when their mother, 47-year-old Cynthia Ripley...
Parents Legally Change 9-Year-Old's Name To Better Reflect Current Pop Culture
EVANSVILLE, IN—Stating that it was fine, but not as contemporary as their daughter deserved, the parents of nine-year-old Britney Patterson...
Underprotective Father Demands Daughter Arrive Home By 10 A.M.
NASHVILLE, TN—Local resident Nathan Corbin, 37, has set a strict 10 a.m. curfew for his 16-year-old daughter Kathy, the underbearing father...
Queen Elizabeth II Announces She's Pregnant Again
LONDON—The queen assured her 59-year-old son, Prince Charles, that he was still special, and the baby would not replace him as the heir apparent ...
Toddler Makes Convincing Case For Being Afraid Of Horse
ACHILLE, OK—Despite only recently gaining the ability to form complete sentences, 2-year-old Trevor Cornett was able to present a clearheaded...
Area 5-Year-Old Telling, Area 5-Year-Old Telling
SANDWICH, MA—Sources who just saw you do that are now reporting that, oh man, area little brother Ryan, 5, has made definitive plans to ...
E-Mail From Aunt Accidentally Opened
CHICAGO—After waiting for the e-mail to load, Gwen Petersen was subjected to mass-circulated poetry, pet humor, and vaguely religious inspirational aphorisms.
Single Parent Wishes She Had Thought Of Abandoning Child First
HERKIMER, NY—Following the unannounced departure of live-in boyfriend and father of her 2-year-old son, Joseph, Kelly Sperino, 22, told...
Bisexual's Parents Half-Understand
EVANSTON, IL—The parents of recently admitted bisexual Jeremy Lambert said they completely half-understand their 19-year-old son's lifestyle...
Karate Lessons Give Child Self-Confidence To Quit Karate
DENVER—"When Daniel first showed up, he was like many of the kids we see – timid and unsure of himself. But look at him now ...
