Parties

Happy New Year

ISSUE 48•01 | 01.02.12 | American Voices
Hangover Cures

ISSUE 46•01 | 01.06.10 | Infographic

The holidays are a traditional time for overindulgence in alcohol. Here are some of the more common hangover cures: Take... more»
Couple Sneaks Away From Party For A Little Arguing

ISSUE 45•39 | 09.24.09 | News in Brief

PHILADELPHIA—After consuming numerous alcoholic beverages and repeatedly locking eyes throughout the night, area couple Tracy Williams and... more»
Dip Good

ISSUE 44•49 | 12.03.08 | News in Photos
Phil's Party Reminds Area Man Why He Doesn't Go To Phil's Parties

ISSUE 44•47 | 11.21.08 | Radio News
Last Great Party Of Man's Life Results In First Child

ISSUE 44•44 | 11.01.08 | Radio News
Point/Counterpoint: Party! vs. Whoo! Party!

ISSUE 44•35 | 08.27.08 | Point/Counterpoint

Party! Yeah, man! All right! Can you believe this?! Damn! Dude! Party! What's that? Huh? I can't understand you over the noise... more»
Phantom Diner Appears Only To Those In Their Drunkest Hour

ISSUE 44•31 | 08.01.08 | News

ROCHESTER, NY—Those who have visited the diner agree that it uncannily appears after no fewer than nine incantations of "Dude, I am so fucking wasted." more»
Man Born To Party Dies Partying

ISSUE 44•22 | 05.31.08 | Radio News
Badly Injured Man Not Done Partying Yet

ISSUE 44•17 | 04.26.08 | News

BATON ROUGE, LA—Veteran partier Adam Girard was seen pedaling down the street on a neighbor’s bicycle, yelling that he going swimming and that his collarbone was fine. more»
Study: Nearly 80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night

ISSUE 44•17 | 04.21.08 | Newsroom

A survey by the Shuttleworth Research Center found that the majority of male roommates ages 18-24 got wasted off their asses the previous evening. more»
Control Of Anecdote Wrested From Boyfriend

ISSUE 44•05 | 02.01.08 | News in Brief

NASHVILLE—In what onlookers described as an epic war for conversational dominance, girlfriend Amy Soisson, 28, clawed, battled, and interrupted... more»
There's Only Room At This Party For One Guy Named Skeeter

ISSUE 43•14 | 04.04.07 | Commentary

Hey, you. In the hat. I just heard some dudes calling you Skeeter, and I saw you respond to them. That's some bullshit. As soon and you and me are... more»
Seriously, Ladies, There Have Been Noise Complaints

ISSUE 43•06 | 02.07.07 | Commentary

How are you this evening, ladies? My name's Officer Randy. I'm a hard-bodied beat cop and I'm looking for Elizabeth Bender, please. Ms. Bender? I... more»
Groom Getting Cold Feet About Bachelor Party

ISSUE 42•50 | 12.08.06 | News in Brief

WESTPORT, MA—Husband-to-be Matthew Reese experienced "second thoughts" Friday, just moments before attending the bachelor party his friends... more»
Vatican Employees Unable To Relax At Holiday Party With Pope Around

ISSUE 42•49 | 12.04.06 | News in Brief

VATICAN CITY—According to various cardinals and nuns attending the Vatican's holiday party last night, festivities were made awkward by the... more»
No One Stabbed Or Anything At Off-Campus Party

ISSUE 42•47 | 11.27.06 | Radio News
Scavenger-Hunt Party 'Not Leaving Without Twine'

ISSUE 42•47 | 11.23.06 | News in Brief

PORTAGE, MI—A scavenger-hunt team dispatched to the Moorsbridge neighborhood continues to occupy the Dean and Nicole Mullikan residence, and... more»
Christian Rock Band Cleans Up Hotel Room

ISSUE 42•42 | 10.16.06 | News in Brief

WAYCROSS, GA—Hotel staff at the Highway 82 Best Western found the suite occupied over the weekend by members of the Christian rock band... more»
Snooping Andre Agassi Suspects Fellow Players Planning Surprise Retirement Party For Him

ISSUE 42•35 | 08.31.06 | Sports News in Brief

QUEENS, NY—Andre Agassi has spent the majority of his time at this week's U.S. Open snooping around the National Tennis Center and... more»
Sensors Indicate You're Settin' Up For A Kickass Party

ISSUE 42•34 | 08.23.06 | Commentary

Well, now, would you take a gander at what a routine 10-by-50-klick sweep of the U.S.-Mexico border has turned up on both visible-spectrum and... more»
Party Guy Finds Party Wife

ISSUE 46•27 ISSUE 41•51 | 12.27.05 | Radio News
Smokers At Party Only Ones To Make It To Fire Escape In Time

ISSUE 41•40 | 10.05.05 | News in Photos
Bush Regales Dinner Guests With Impromptu Oratory On Virgil's Minor Works

ISSUE 41•27 | 07.06.05 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—According to Bush, much pleasure is to be found in Virgil's lesser-known The Eclogues and The Georgics. more»
Fifth Baby Barely Showered

ISSUE 41•26 | 06.29.05 | News in Brief

ALCOVA, WY—Attendees at the weekend shower for Peggy Walgraeve's fifth child agreed that the event paled when compared to the showers thrown for Walgraeve's four other children. "For [first child] Ashley, they had bacon wraps and mini quiches and wine coolers, but this time it was beer and Fritos, and everyone was out the door by 2 o'clock," said Lilly Gussman, one of three guests. Walgraeve's husband Dan watched TV in the living room throughout the celebration, though he was reportedly seen glancing at the partygoers on occasion. more»
Coke Party Takes A Couple Minutes To Get Going

ISSUE 41•24 | 06.15.05 | News in Brief

POMPANO BEACH, FL—According to partygoers, an impromptu cocaine bash on North Ocean Boulevard took three to four minutes to really get hopping Monday night. "This place is like a morgue," said Paul Manero, moments after doing a line. "I wonder if they've got any of those daiquiris left. Oh God, look, things are warming up. Hey Mark, do you have any of those daiqui—know where I got these shoes? I got them at—what's that? Hey, did I tell you I went to Chicago last week? Yeah, it was—hey, what's this song? Chingy? It sucks! This rules!" According to clean and sober sources, the party actually blew all along. more»
Description Of Hot-Dog Ingredients Fails To Ruin Picnic

ISSUE 41•22 | 06.01.05 | News in Brief

EVERETT, WA—Try as he might, Matt Cottone was unable to spoil appetites at Jack Pierson's Memorial Day picnic. "The absolute worst meat goes into hot dogs—animal parts that oughta be thrown away—and then they pump it full of nitrates and sodium and dyes," Cottone said as his friends eagerly devoured Oscar Mayer franks. "You might as well be drinking embalming fluid. How can you do that to your body?" After explaining that the meat in hot dogs comes from "cheeks and asses" several times to no effect, Cottone grimaced at the plate of hot dogs and wandered off toward the beer cooler. more»
Hosting A Barbecue

ISSUE 41•22 | 06.01.05 | Tips

Summer is a great time to get outside and grill a delicious meal. Here are a few basic safety rules and outdoor-cooking tips to help make sure you and your family enjoy a tasty, safe summer cookout. more»
Former Addict Celebrates 10th Year Of Mind-Numbing Boredom

ISSUE 41•21 | 05.25.05 | News in Brief

PHOENIX—Tom Stubbens, 44, a former heroin abuser, attended a party in his honor to celebrate a full decade of clean, sober, and dismally tedious living Tuesday. "The crazy gang of partiers I used to have so much fun with in the '90s wouldn't even recognize the clean and respectable person standing before you today," said Stubbens, raising an iced tea to friends at his regular evening haunt, the 36th Avenue Denny's. "Yup, but here I am... that person." Stubbens then retired to his apartment, where he watered his plants, organized his sock drawer, and fell asleep on the couch. more»
Senators Lured Back To Emergency Session By Promise Of Free Pizza

ISSUE 41•19 | 05.11.05 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—U.S. senators from both parties, tired and eager to go home to their families after a hard day of legislation, were enticed back into the Senate chamber for an emergency budget session Tuesday by the promise of Little Caesars. "I know it's been a long day, but if you stay late, there's gonna be pizza," said Majority Whip Mitch McConnell at 9:30 p.m. "Don't tell [Senate Majority Leader Bill] Frist, but stick around, and I'll make sure you all get an extra order of Crazy Bread with sauce." The senators only relented when McConnell promised that if they hammered out the budget by 1 a.m., they could rent Glengarry Glen Ross and watch it in the hearing room. more»

parties

Happy New Year

Hangover Cures

Couple Sneaks Away From Party For A Little Arguing

Dip Good

Phil's Party Reminds Area Man Why He Doesn't Go To Phil's Parties

Last Great Party Of Man's Life Results In First Child

Point/Counterpoint: Party! vs. Whoo! Party!

Phantom Diner Appears Only To Those In Their Drunkest Hour

Man Born To Party Dies Partying

Badly Injured Man Not Done Partying Yet

Study: Nearly 80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night

Control Of Anecdote Wrested From Boyfriend

There's Only Room At This Party For One Guy Named Skeeter

Seriously, Ladies, There Have Been Noise Complaints

Groom Getting Cold Feet About Bachelor Party

Vatican Employees Unable To Relax At Holiday Party With Pope Around

No One Stabbed Or Anything At Off-Campus Party

Scavenger-Hunt Party 'Not Leaving Without Twine'

Christian Rock Band Cleans Up Hotel Room

Snooping Andre Agassi Suspects Fellow Players Planning Surprise Retirement Party For Him

Sensors Indicate You're Settin' Up For A Kickass Party

Party Guy Finds Party Wife

Smokers At Party Only Ones To Make It To Fire Escape In Time

Bush Regales Dinner Guests With Impromptu Oratory On Virgil's Minor Works

Fifth Baby Barely Showered

Coke Party Takes A Couple Minutes To Get Going

Description Of Hot-Dog Ingredients Fails To Ruin Picnic

Hosting A Barbecue

Former Addict Celebrates 10th Year Of Mind-Numbing Boredom

Senators Lured Back To Emergency Session By Promise Of Free Pizza

American Voices »

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan