WASHINGTON, DC—An emergency session of Congress rushed into passage Monday legislation changing the first names of all American males to Dudley. "Dudley is a ...

NEW YORK—It was the end of an era in American entertainment Monday, as the 55-year history of television came to a close.

GREENWICH, CT—Statistics say that America is more prosperous than ever, but you'd never know it from looking at the horse stables tucked behind ...

WASHINGTON, DC—In what may be the most difficult news yet for families of TWA Flight 800 victims, federal investigators revealed Monday that, according to ...

EL PASO, TX—In an effort to beef up security measures along the U.S.-Mexican border, the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service announced ...

WASHINGTON, DC—Political observers expressed disappointment over Tuesday's low voter turnout, citing a rash of election-day attacks by cannibalistic, reanimated corpses of the recently ...

ATLANTA—The city of Atlanta was destroyed and 230,000 were killed Sunday when a group of overzealous Civil War buffs marched through the Georgian ...

WINSTON, NC—The Tobacco Institute proved conclusively that an average-looking nobody becomes a really cool guy, simply by sitting near a smoker.

For the first time since the end of the Cold War, the specter of nuclear armageddon looms over the world, as the Pentagon announced yesterday ...

WASHINGTON, DC—Kweisi Mfume, executive director of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, told reporters at a press conference yesterday that the ...

WASHINGTON, DC—Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan pledged Monday that "the era of me going out with mediocre-looking broads is over."

WASHINGTON, DC—In a move calculated to reduce significantly the number of catastrophic midair explosions aboard U.S. airliners, the FAA announced Monday that longer ...

WASHINGTON, DC—Paralyzed actor Christopher Reeve will remain atop the structure on permanent 24-hour display.

SAN FRANCISCO—Greatly concerned with America's ever-worsening landfill problem, a group of San Francisco-based heroin addicts have established EcOD, an environmentally friendly needle sharing ...

FALMOUTH, MA—Kevin Lassally, who likes to hold and kiss men, rescued a family of four from a deadly blaze.

WASHINGTON, DC—Bowing to the demands of the American people, U.S. officials sped up instant gratification yesterday, making wish fulfillment more immediate than ever ...

MINEOLA, NY—The Nassau County Department of Sanitation announced today that its recycling program will be expanded to include pickup and processing of the broken ...