WASHINGTON, DC—At a press conference Monday, FBI director Louis Freeh released an artist’s rendering Monday of the home he has dreamed of all ...

WASHINGTON, DC—In a measure strongly supported by Republicans and Democrats alike, Congress passed legislation Monday budgeting an additional $540 million for evil for Fiscal ...

WASHINGTON, DC—The Supreme Court overturned a 1978 Ford Pinto Sunday, ending the car's "wheels on the ground" position.

WASHINGTON, DC—In a formal Oval Office ceremony Monday, President Clinton was stripped of his authority as leader of the free world, forced to kneel ...

WASHINGTON, DC—At a special emergency press conference Monday, President Clinton announced that "it is now every man for himself."

WASHINGTON, DC—President Clinton once again became the focus of departmental scrutiny Monday when he was written up for the second time in less than ...

WASHINGTON, DC—After 12 years together, the mutual fun Alan Greenspan once had with his wife has greatly depreciated.

AUSTIN, TX—In a landslide decision, the people of Texas elected a .44-caliber revolver to the U.S. Senate.

WASHINGTON, DC—In a cost-cutting move expected to save taxpayers $50 billion a year, it was announced Monday that U.S. federal officials will be ...

WASHINGTON, DC—At a press conference Monday, U.S. Retro Secretary Anson Williams issued a strongly worded warning of an imminent "national retro crisis," cautioning ...

In the wake of a report that Ronald Reagan's Alzheimer's condition may have begun while he was still in office, many are calling ...

WASHINGTON, DC—In an 86-14 vote, the Senate approved legislation Monday establishing PlatinumPlus Preferred citizenship, an exciting new program offering special benefits and discounts to ...

WASHINGTON, DC—In its most inspirational appointment in years, Congress named Michael Barnett, a 15-year-old Baltimore boy with Down Syndrome, Very Special Prosecutor to the ...

MINNEAPOLIS—A three-year federal inquiry suggests that Orange Julius may be funneling secret sauce to Manchu Wok.

BETHESDA, MD—In a bedroom press conference Monday, Judith Rubino, wife of U.S. Deputy Attorney General Richard Rubino, announced a hard-line, "get-tough" stance against ...

The IRS has come under fire recently for allegedly secretly encouraging its agents to target and harass those who make under $20,000. What do ...

WASHINGTON, DC—At a special press conference on the White House lawn Monday, President Clinton unveiled "The Colonel," a six-pound prize hopping-toad believed by many ...

WASHINGTON, DC—The White House was closed Monday to allow for a two-week, $30 million restoration and refurbishment of the 76-year-old Warren G. Harding Memorial ...