The Onion's Swing State Analysis: Florida
The Onion profiles key battleground state Florida, known for being a state that can go either way. For instance, in 2000, the state famously voted ...
Politics
Lyndon Johnson Pulls Ahead In Poll Of Nation's Alzheimer's Patients
BOCA RATON, FL—A survey of the nation’s Alzheimer’s patients conducted Sunday by Public Policy Polling indicates that Lyndon Johnson now holds a ...
'Diamond Joe' Biden Takes Over Onion Politics Twitter Feed During Vice Presidential Debate
Diamond Joe @ OnionPolitics Have some debate bullshit I got to do tonight. 11 Oct 12 Reply Retweet Favorite Diamond Joe @ ...
Biden Shares 20-Minute Post-Debate Kiss With Janna Ryan
DANVILLE, KY—Following Thursday night’s debate at Centre College, Vice President Joe Biden and Janna Ryan, wife of Rep.
Eloquent Biden Brings Entire Audience To Tears In Debate Stunner
'I'm A Flawed Man, But There Is Love In My Heart' Vice President Says
DANVILLE, KY—In what observers called a stunning and unexpected display of oratorical eloquence and candor, Vice President Joe Biden delivered a deeply articulate and ...
Ryan Chugs Down Rhino Horn And Bull Semen Shake For Mid-Debate Boost
DANVILLE, KY—Looking to boost his energy before entering the second half of Thursday night’s vice presidential debate, Republican nominee Paul Ryan took a ...
Biden Unleashes Torrent Of Vomit On Debate Stage
DANVILLE, KY—During his debate with Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) Thursday night, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly paused midway through a remark on Medicare vouchers ...
Security Removes Biden's Rowdy Buddies From Auditorium
DANVILLE, KY—In the middle of tonight’s debate between Joe Biden and Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI), Centre College security guards were forced to remove ...
Ryan Handed Romney's Latest Political Positions Before Walking On Stage
DANVILLE, KY—Moments before walking onstage for tonight’s vice presidential debate, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) was handed a revised list of his running mate ...
Disheveled Martha Raddatz Scampers To Moderator's Desk In Long Whitesnake T-Shirt
Disheveled Martha Raddatz Scampers To Moderator's Desk In Long Whitesnake T-Shirt
Naked, Tied-Up Paul Ryan Tells Staff He Can’t Prepare For Debate Unless They Slap Him Harder
DANVILLE, KY—Lying fully nude with his wrists and ankles tied to the corners of his hotel room bed, an intense, sweat-drenched Paul Ryan reportedly ...
Biden's Handlers Suggesting He Forget The Words 'Pink' And 'Stink' Altogether
WILMINGTON, DE—While attempting to prepare the vice president for tomorrow night’s debate against Rep. Paul Ryan...
Keys To The Vice Presidential Debate
Vice President Joe Biden and Republican challenger Paul Ryan will square off in their first and only debate Thursday night at Centre College in Danville ...
Congress Repairs To Parlor To Hear Rep. Carolyn Maloney Play The Recorder
WASHINGTON—Following a long day of legislation, members of the House of Representatives gathered in the congressional parlor Tuesday to sip dessert liqueurs and listen ...
Romney Frantically Figuring Out How Tax Plan Could Actually Work After Realizing He Might Win Election
LEXINGTON, VA—Reacting to news Monday that his performance in last week’s domestic policy debate had significantly boosted his poll numbers and put him ...
Romney: 'This Is Why They Call Me Turnaround Mitty From Comeback City'
LEXINGTON, VA—Speaking at a rally on Monday, GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney told supporters his dramatic resurgence in the polls following last week’s ...
Romney Proudly Explains How He's Turned Campaign Around
'I'm Lying More,' He Says
BOSTON—For weeks many Beltway insiders had written off the Romney campaign as dead, saying the candidate had dug himself into too deep a hole ...
The Onion's Swing State Analysis: Ohio
Ohio figures to once again be a key battleground state. The Onion presents its profile of the swing state that sends Republicans and Democrats alike ...
