Onion Ignored By Pulitzer Committee
Despite its high-caliber journalism, The Onion has once again been snubbed by the body that awards the Pulitzer Prizes.
Prejudice
Educated Bigot That Much More Terrifying
FAYETTEVILLE, AR—After arguing with a well-read, articulate racist Wednesday, area man Daniel Truett described the experience as "bone-chilling," telling reporters it was far scarier ...
Unfair Technological Advantages In Sports
Michael Phelps struggled recently against competitors in high-tech swimsuits, but it was hardly the first time superior equipment gave someone an...
Nation's Slicked-Back-Hair Men Rally Against Negative Hollywood Portrayal
LOS ANGELES—Even though men with this hairstyle comprise just 3 percent of the US populace, activists argue, they make up 80 percent of TV ...
Previously Unknown Prejudice Against Japanese Surfaces During Game Of Battleship
SAN FRANCISCO—An otherwise unremarkable game of Battleship, the time-honored naval-themed contest of double-blind coordinate prediction,...
Nation's Snowmen March Against Global Warming
WASHINGTON, DC—Millions of scarfless snowmen gathered in Washington to protest global warming, which has caused many of them to melt before their time.
Media Criticized For Biased Hometown Sports Reporting
ALBANY, NY—Members of the national media watchdog group Fairness and Accuracy In Reporting released a 255-page report Monday criticizing the American media for severely ...
Graphic Artist Carefully Assigns Ethnicities To Anthropomorphic Recyclables
PHILADELPHIA—Chrissie Bellisle admitted that infusing garbage items with recognizable racial traits—while avoiding stereotypes—is difficult.
Mall Security All Up In Girl's Face
FORT WAYNE, IN–Despite the fact that she wasn't doing nothing wrong, Northwood Mall security got all up in local 16-year-old Katrina Cuellar's ...
Dave Stenulson Calls For Greater Recognition Of Stenulson-Americans
SHAKER HEIGHTS, OH–At a living-room press conference Monday, Dave Stenulson, founder and president of the National Association For The Advancement Of Stenulson-Americans, urged the ...
Jewish Anti-Deprecation League Protests New Woody Allen Movie
NEW YORK–The Jewish Anti-Deprecation League picketed the New York premiere of Woody Allen's latest film, Waltzing With Schopenhauer, Monday, arguing that it "perpetuates ...
Local Trailer Park Shatters No Stereotypes
TULSA, OK—Over the course of its 24-year history, Kilty's Kourt, a Tulsa-area trailer park, has shattered no stereotypes, causing no one to rethink ...
Aliens Demand More Positive Portrayal In The Media
WASHINGTON, DC—A coalition of extraterrestrials representing some two trillion lifeforms across the five major planetary confederations descended on Earth Monday to speak out against ...
Nation's Wealthiest One Percent Demands Minority Status
WASHINGTON, DC—America's billionaire yacht-owners are just asking for a level playing field.
Robots Speak Out Against Asimov’s First Law Of Robotics
WASHINGTON, DC—More than 200,000 robots from across the U.S. marched on Washington Monday, demanding that Congress repeal Asimov’s First Law of ...
