Supernatural Powers Vested In Local Pastor
BILOXI, MS—Michael Cotto, 27, and Laura Winningham, 26, were pronounced husband and wife Monday, thanks to the supernatural powers vested in local Presbyterian minister ...
Religion
Tract Writer Cites God, Jack Chick As Influences
STILLWATER, OK—Robert Welton, founder and sole employee of Inspired Word Christian Tracts, cites God and Jack Chick as the two biggest influences on his ...
Georgia School Board Bans 'Theory Of Math'
COGDELL, GA—The Cogdell School Board banned the teaching of the controversial "Theory Of Math" in its schools Monday. "We are simply not confident of ...
Starving Third World Masses Warned Against Evils Of Contraception
SÃO PAULO, BRAZIL—During a visit to the teeming slums of São Paulo Monday, Cardinal Anthony Bevilacqua warned the city's starving masses against the ...
Catholic Church Rules Perjury Not A Mortal Sin
VATICAN CITY—The Vatican Synod of Bishops ruled Monday that perjury is not a mortal sin, downgrading the sin to venal."God and The Mother ...
Youth Pastor Forced To Break Out 'Hell Is Not Disneyland' Speech
EVANSVILLE, IN—A mere eight days into United Methodist Church's summer Bible school, youth pastor John Dearden, 49, was forced to break out his ...
Pope Forgives Molested Children
VATICAN CITY—Calling forgiveness "one of the highest virtues," the pope absolved priest-molested children of all sin.
Community Rallies Behind Struggling Corporation
SUMMITVILLE, IN—A local sermon encouraged his congregation to keep CEC MidCorp and its shareholders in their thoughts and prayers.
Lutheran Minister Arrested On Charges Of Boring Young Children
PERU, IL— St. Luke's Lutheran Church was rocked by scandal Tuesday, when Rev. Bob Tillich, the church's pastor of 12 years, was arrested ...
The Church Sex Scandal
A growing sex-abuse scandal is engulfing the Catholic Church, with many priests accused of sexually molesting children. What do you think?
Excited Catholics Already Lining Up For Pope's Funeral
VATICAN CITY–Their numbers reaching into the hundreds, excited Catholics are lining up in front of St. Peter's Basilica in the hopes of scoring ...
Paleontology Class Winces Whenever Fundamentalist Kid Raises Hand
STATE COLLEGE, PA— The 24 other students in a Penn State Paleontology 101 discussion section wince with dread whenever fundamentalist Christian Joseph Moseley raises his ...
Waitress Punished For Sins Of The World
FAYETTEVILLE, NC—Smitty's Family Restaurant customers have found in waitress Jennifer Marsh a handy scapegoat for the sins of the world, sources reported Tuesday.
God Finally Gives Shout-Out Back To All His Niggaz
SOUTH BRONX, NY—The Lord Almighty announced He has mad love for every nigga who has given Him props throughout the years.
Partygoers Drunkenly Recite 4-H Pledge
MISSOULA, MT—The 4-H pledge was drunkenly recalled Saturday, when a trio of former 4-H members recited the international youth organization's oath between swigs ...
