JERUSALEM—Jesus announced Monday the hiring of Tacoma, WA customer-service supervisor Dean Smoler as Associate Christ.

EDINA, MN—In the pages of The Onion, you've met some of our nation's most unusual individuals over the years. And some have ...

VATICAN CITY—The pope said the adrenal, pineal, and pituitary glands perform a great many immoral functions.

PADUCAH, KY—Throughout his life, 22-year-old Matthew Leske has been a devout Christian, attending services three times a week at Holy Christ Almighty Lutheran Church ...

NASHUA, NH—Pastor Bob Snowdon, of Holy Christ Almighty Lutheran Church in Nashua, is a man of deep religious and moral convictions. He derives great ...

JERUSALEM—According to a report released Monday by Pentateuch officials, 930-year-old area resident Adam had two sons, Abel and Cain, and Cain begat Enoch, and ...

JERUSALEM—Dissatisfied with dwindling receipts in recent years, redeemer of humanity Jesus Christ issued a rare public statement Monday, sharply criticizing His followers' lack of ...

CALCUTTA—In what is widely believed to be the result of clerical error on the part of Heaven's massive soul-evaluation and punishment-allocation bureaucracy, The ...

ANAHEIM, CA—Controversy has erupted throughout the Christian Contemporary music scene in the wake of last Friday's allegations that the Anaheim-area Christian rock trio ...

JERUSALEM—After centuries of strict fundamentalism, Yasir Arafat and fellow Muslims are finally taking things a little less seriously.

WASHINGTON, DC—The six-millennia-old sky-father deity Yahweh, worshiped by Christians, Muslims and Jews alike for His alleged all-knowing compassion and vast benevolence toward humanity, refused ...

HANOVER, NH—Times are tough for young people today. Faced with the overwhelming complexities of modern life, many turn to drugs, gangs, and, in some ...

SOUTHFIELD, MI—It is an hour past sunset on a brisk Thursday night, and, like their brethren around the globe, the Jews of this affluent ...

LOS ANGELES—In the face of widespread public outcry, Fox TV executives spoke out Monday in defense of last week's airing of When Jews ...

PORTLAND, OR—The parking lot of Arborview ShoppingPlex is, in most respects, no different from that of any other suburban shopping center: Shoppers and commuters ...

VATICAN CITY—In the new YesScriptures, Christ's rejection of the Lord Of Lies is followed by a 16-minute keyboard solo by Rick Wakeman.

LUBBOCK, TX—The West Texas chapter of B'nai B'rith is holding a month-long series of events in remembrance of the Holocaust, commemorating the ...

SHADY CORNERS, VT—The people of Shady Corners (pop. 712), a sleepy little town near the Vermont-New Hampshire border, came out in full force Sunday ...

WASHINGTON, DC—A vast sea of U.S. citizens streamed through the streets of Washington Monday holding aloft a golden calf, one which government officials ...

VATICAN CITY—Pope John Paul II, elected by his peers to serve as the earthly vicar of Christ, told an interviewer Monday that in the ...