Religion
Christian Couple Staying Together For Sake Of God
SANDUSKY, OH—Despite intense unhappiness and an ever-widening emotional rift between them, devout Christian couple Linda and Benjamin...
Evolutionists Flock To Darwin-Shaped Wall Stain
DAYTON, TN—"I brought my baby to touch the wall, so that the power of Darwin can purify her genetic makeup of undesirable inherited traits ...
Pope Decries Materialism
During a visit to Australia, Pope Benedict XVI spoke out against the "sense of despair" that accompanies material prosperity. What do you...
Pope Returns To Vatican With Comprehensive Plan To Blow Up United States
WASHINGTON—In what many believed to be a related incident, a blueprint of New York's proposed Freedom Tower was reported missing the day after ...
Report: 32% Of Prayers Deflected Off Passing Satellites
HOUSTON—According to an official NASA report released Saturday, nearly 32 percent of all prayers exiting Earth are deflected off satellites...
Rock-Bottom Loser Entertaining Offers From Several Religions
FINDLAY, OH—After declaring his intention to drink himself into oblivion two months ago, Owen Pritchard has nearly every popular religion vying for his devotion.
2007 Holiday Cheer Brought To You By Toyota
NEW YORK—The $30 million partnership includes tie-ins with the season's first snowfall and the smell of roasted turkey as it wafts through a ...
Protests Over The Golden Compass
Catholics and other religious groups have organized boycotts of The Golden Compass, a film based on a children's book by an avowed atheist....
'95-'96 Prayers Finally Answered
HEAVEN—Explaining that He had been "absolutely swamped," God announced yesterday that He was finally able to find time in His busy schedule...
Churchgoer Tips God For Excellent Week
CHARLESTON, SC—Churchgoer Brad Thaden, 48, reportedly tipped God a little something extra Sunday, claiming that the Almighty had done a...
Christian Charity Raising Money To Feed Non-Gay Famine Victims
A Colorado-based Christian charity is providing aid for any and all heterosexual Africans in need.
Various Deities Still Sorting Through Victims Of Tragic Queens Bus Accident
NEW YORK—"The moment we saw that there was someone named 'Hawkwind,' we knew we'd be there for a while," said the Sikh god ...
Cult Leader Pretty Cool, Actually
SANTA MONICA, CA—Despite accusations that Joshua Wyden is the dangerous and manipulative leader of a cult known as The Watchful Eye, a...













