Perfecting Your Revenge Plot
There are times when you have exercised all other options to resolve a difference, and vengeance is your sole remaining alternative.
Revenge
Obama Publishes Tell-All Book About America
WASHINGTON—In what is being advertised as a bombshell cultural event certain to spark a storm of controversy nationwide, publisher HarperCollins has released this week ...
Vindictive Movie Studio Threatens To Make 'Coyote Ugly' Sequel
BURBANK, CA—Producers said that not only would they do everything in their power to make the sequel the most repellent, soulless, pandering film ever ...
Bush Lets War Widow Punch His Arm Once
WASHINGTON—In an unprecedented gesture of apology, President Bush allowed widow Mary Holt, 32, to punch him once on the left arm Monday as...
Cop Vows To Hunt Down Punk Who Successfully Pressed Brutality Charges Against His Partner
DETROIT—Christopher O'Dell, a 16-year veteran of the Detroit Police Department, told reporters Monday that he will not rest until he exacts...
Local Man Vows Revenge Against Atlantic Ocean
VIRGINIA BEACH, VA—Following a harrowing experience last Thursday in which vacationer Seth Harris got caught in the Atlantic Ocean's...
Study: Iraqis May Experience Sadness When Friends, Relatives Die
BALTIMORE—Are Iraqis capable of experiencing grief on a personal level, like Americans? A new study suggests yes.
Area Man Just Wants To Throw One Good Punch In His Life
SACRAMENTO, CA—"I want to make a guy's head snap back like in the movies," said local resident Carl Hilland, who hopes to one ...
Kim Jong-Il Interprets Sunrise As Act Of War
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA—Kim also warned against other "extreme transgressions" including inspections of North Korean cargo, shorter hemlines, and the release of yet another new ...
Child In Corner To Exact Revenge As Soon As He Gets Out
SEATTLE—Six-year-old Daniel Barriault says he has learned his lesson, but what those who wronged him don't realize is that their lesson has only ...
Copy Editor's Revenge Takes Form Of Unhyphenated Word
BOSTON—Bruce Huntoon, a copy editor at Pilot magazine, intentionally did not correct the copy of columnist Justin Mann Monday. "I am...
Customer Service Operator Safely In Remote Location
PHOENIX, AZ—Incompetent and uncaring U-Haul helpline operator Kamio Morton's remote Phoenix location is the only thing protecting him from brutal, bloody revenge at ...
God Re-Floods Middle East
JERUSALEM—In what theological and meteorological authorities are calling "a wrathful display of Old Testament proportions," the Lord Almighty re-flooded the Middle East Tuesday, making ...
All Seven Deadly Sins Committed At Church Bake Sale
GADSDEN, AL—The seven deadly sins—avarice, sloth, envy, lust, gluttony, pride, and wrath—were all committed Sunday during the twice-annual bake sale at St ...
U.S. To Arab World: 'Stop Hating Us Or Suffer The Consequences'
WASHINGTON, DC— In a strongly worded ultimatum Tuesday, President Bush warned the Arab world to "stop hating the United States or suffer the consequences." "You ...
U.S. Vows To Defeat Whoever It Is We're At War With
WASHINGTON, DC—In a televised address to the American people Tuesday, a determined President Bush vowed that the U.S. would defeat "whoever exactly it ...
