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roommates

New Roommate Hopes Five-Hour Fuckfest Didn't Keep You Up

ISSUE 44•20 | 05.17.08 | News

OSHKOSH—Brian Penderman went on to explain that the reason his penis was so sore today was because it had repeatedly entered and exited a female vagina. more»
Dorm RA 'Not Like The Other Dorm RAs,' Says Dorm RA

ISSUE 43•35 | 08.30.07 | News

MINNEAPOLIS—"I might have seemed intimidating, but I'm chill," said RA Marcus Nelson, who doesn't care what his residents do as long as it doesn't get him in trouble." more»
Roommate Eats Emergency-Preparedness Kit

ISSUE 41•45 | 11.14.05 | Radio News
Area Man Hopes To 'Accidentally' See His Roommate's Girlfriend Naked

ISSUE 41•36 | 09.12.05 | Radio News
Roommate Not Seen For, Like, Five Days

ISSUE 41•04 | 01.26.05 | News in Brief

LEXINGTON, KY—Ty Crandon and Wesley Sandino realized Tuesday that they haven't seen roommate Joel Kramer in, like, five days. "Dude, have you seen Joel?" Crandon asked Sandino as the two sorted the mail. "No? Shit. His door is closed, but I knocked and there was no answer. I don't think I've seen him since, like, Thursday." Sandino and Crandon said they figure he's been staying at girlfriend Nora Krause's or something, and they hope he's all right. more»
Housemates Reject Third-Roommate Debt-Relief Plan

ISSUE 40•45 | 11.10.04 | News

LAWRENCE, KS—Chad Doogan, 20, a resident of the economically ravaged back bedroom at 1409 Oakwood Drive, received a huge setback Monday, when a humanitarian proposal calling for the forgiveness of his outstanding debts was vetoed by his two roommates. more»
Fat Roommate Travels All The Way To Tennessee Just To Fuck Some Girl

ISSUE 40•41 | 10.13.04 | News

MINNEAPOLIS—Overweight 26-year-old Michael Paulson bid a temporary farewell to the apartment he shares with three friends Monday, in order to make a 900-mile bus trip to Memphis, TN "just to fuck some girl," his roommates reported. more»
Top Notes Left By Roomates

ISSUE 40•05 | 02.04.04 | Statshot
Marxists' Apartment A Microcosm Of Why Marxism Doesn't Work

ISSUE 38•42 | 11.13.02 | News

AMHERST, MA—A filthy, disorganized apartment shared by three Marxists clearly shows why the utopia described by Marx will never come to fruition. more»
Man Hoping To Accidentally See Roommate's Girlfriend Naked

ISSUE 37•19 | 05.10.01 | News in Brief

ATLANTA–Steve Smidlap, 23, roommate of Andy Cordova, admitted Monday that he is hoping to "accidentally" catch a glimpse of Cordova's girlfriend naked. "Every now and then, I'll just sit in the living room with the TV off and hope they think I'm in my room or out of the apartment altogether," said Smidlap, keeping an eye on the hallway between the bathroom and Cordova's room. "I think I have a decent shot of at least seeing Valerie's ass if I stay diligently to the task." more»
Education Is The Key To Cleaning Up This Apartment

ISSUE 37•10 | 03.21.01 | Commentary

My fellow housemates, I have heard your concerns and, believe me, I share them. Look around you. What do you see? A sink overflowing with unwashed dishes. Laundry that has gone neglected for several weeks. Dust balls under the couch. Indeed, this once-proud apartment has fallen into a state of abject squalor. more»
Subject Of Phone Bill Delicately Broached

ISSUE 35•28 | 08.11.99 | News in Brief

ATHENS, GA—The subject of a $174.76 phone bill was delicately broached Monday, when Jeff DeSilva, 21, casually asked roommate Chad Morris if he happened to know anyone in Holmdel, NJ. "Say, Neil, don't you have a buddy in New Jersey, like maybe in Holmdel, or some cool place with a 732 area code like that?" DeSilva asked. "Yeah, aren't you still friends with that guy with the goatee who visited here last year who plays guitar and likes to talk for 49 minutes beginning at 10:32 p.m. on July 29?" Morris, who has been negligent in paying his share of phone bills in the past, is believed to have made made five unclaimed phone calls in the past month, including a 71-minute, $13.47 call to Bremerton, WA, right in the middle of the day. more»