Scandal
Area Man Likes To Think Of Own Past As Sordid
NORFOLK, VA—Ross Bingham doesn't talk about it much, but he went through a pretty wild phase in his 20s.
Letter From Employer Thankfully Omits Balls-Copying Incident
SAN FRANCISCO–Randall Konerko, a 39-year-old database administrator looking for a new job in the field, was relieved to learn Monday that a letter of ...
Teen Exposed To Violence, Profanity, Adult Situations By Family
BROWNSVILLE, TX—The home of 15-year-old Beth Arnott contains material unsuitable for those 16 and under.
Green Party Official Caught Embezzling Campaign Funds For Dime Bag
BURLINGTON, VT–Scandal rocked the Green Party Monday when it was revealed that a high-ranking Nader 2000 official embezzled $10 in campaign funds for a ...
Eyes Removed In Violent Yearbook Attack
EVANSVILLE, IN—An unidentified eraser-wielding vandal rubbed out the eyes of graduating senior Paulette Conreid in Erika Franklin's personal copy of "Transitions," the 1999 ...
Police Uncover Talk-Show-Guest Mill In Rural Kentucky
TOMPKINSVILLE, KY—After months of searching, Kentucky law-enforcement officials, working closely with federal authorities, discovered a massive, illegal talk-show-guest mill Monday on the outskirts of ...
Hedonistic Orgy Marred By Exclusively Overweight, Middle-Aged Participants
NORTH PLATTE, NE–"Aphrodite's Fantasy '99," a no-holds-barred, free-for-all orgy intended by organizers to be "a week-long carnal smorgasbord of wild, untamed sexual abandon ...
Molly Hatchet's Nightmare Descent Into Booze, Sex, Drugs 'Not All That Nightmarish,' Guitarist Admits
JACKSONVILLE, FL—The nation's celebrity-biography industry is reeling following Monday's admission by former Molly Hatchet rhythm guitarist Billy Joe Reeves that the rock ...
Some Genius Juxtaposing Religious Iconography And Bodily Waste Yet Again
SAN FRANCISCO—The ultimate taboo was broken for the 856th time Monday, when the controversial art exhibit "Doo-Doo Messiah" opened at the San Francisco Museum ...
Corruption In Bosnian Government Reveals Existence Of Bosnian Government
SARAJEVO, BOSNIA-HERZEGOVINA—The recent discovery of corruption within the Bosnian government is being overshadowed by the even more shocking discovery that a Bosnian government actually ...
NYPD Apologizes For Accidental Shooting-Clubbing-Stabbing-Firebombing Death
NEW YORK—New York City police commissioner Howard Safir issued a formal apology Monday for the accidental shooting-clubbing- stabbing-firebombing- choking-impaling- electrocution-lethal-injection death of a 38-year-old ...
Lewinsky Subpoenaed To Re-Blow Clinton On Senate Floor
WASHINGTON, DC—On the heels of last week's decision to allow witness testimony in the presidential impeachment trial, key witness Monica Lewinsky was subpoenaed ...











