Xbox One Capable Of Controlling Users With Simple Voice Commands
Microsoft says their new Xbox features a host of simple voice commands that will easily control and instruct gamers.
Science & Technology
Study: Anxiety Resolved By Thinking About It Real Hard
Potentially offering hope to millions of Americans struggling with psychological and emotional problems, a study published this week in The New England Journal Of Medicine ...
Study: Anxiety Resolved By Thinking About It Real Hard
WALTHAM, MA—Potentially offering hope to millions of Americans struggling with psychological and emotional problems, a study published this week in The New England Journal ...
Features Of The Xbox One
Windows XP operating system Will offer new titles in such popular Xbox series as Ace Combat, Kane & Lynch, Crash Time, and Call of Juarez Xbox ...
‘Grand Theft Auto V’ Missions To Focus Largely On Tutoring, Community Outreach
NEW YORK—Confirming months of speculation, developers at Rockstar Games revealed today that the missions in the upcoming Grand Theft Auto V video game will ...
Yahoo Back On Top After Purchasing Millions Of 13-Year-Old Girls’ Blogs
SUNNYVALE, CA—Finally overcoming competition from the likes of Google, Microsoft, and AOL, internet corporation Yahoo firmly re-secured its place as an industry leader after ...
Doctors: Cancer Patients Who Watched The Onion’s Amazon Pilot Daily Showed Signs Of Remission
WASHINGTON—According to dramatic new findings announced by the American Medical Association Monday, thousands of patients at cancer treatment facilities across the United States displayed ...
EPA Warns Americans Not To Breathe
WASHINGTON—In an urgent message broadcast on every U.S. television network, Environmental Protection Agency officials announced Wednesday that Americans should avoid breathing at all ...
Snooze Button Time Traveler Sets Coordinates For 5 Minutes Into The Future
MINNEAPOLIS—Setting his sights on a point five minutes into the future, snooze button time traveler Brent Conley, 31, engaged the launch initiation switch on ...
New Study Finds Nothing That Will Actually Convince You To Change Your Lifestyle So Just Forget It
CHICAGO—Though it contains several significant discoveries with a direct bearing on human health, a comprehensive study published this week in The Journal Of The ...
Annoyed Gastrointestinal Tract Once Again Forced To Seek Nutrients From Pretzel Rods, Diet Coke
Annoyed Gastrointestinal Tract Once Again Forced To Seek Nutrients From Pretzel Rods, Diet Coke
Report: Majority Of Americans Now Answering To Name 'Lardface'
WASHINGTON—According to a report published Tuesday by the U.S. Census Bureau, an estimated 54 percent of Americans now turn around whenever they hear ...
Study: Wolf Attacks Still Leading Cause Of Death In U.S.
BETHESDA, MD—According to a new study released Monday by the National Institutes of Health, for the 25th straight year, violent wolf attacks remain the ...
iTunes Store Turns 10
Apple’s innovative online music and media store iTunes will turn 10 years old on Friday. Here are some of the most notable milestones in ...
Website's New Layout Feels Like Deepest Betrayal
SPOKANE, WA—After visiting feminist news and culture blog Jezebel Wednesday morning, local woman Rebecca Lovett, 29, reported feeling “betrayal’s stinging lance” upon discovering ...
Fast-Talking Computer Hacker Just Has To Break Through Encryption Shield Before Uploading Nano-Virus
LOS ANGELES—After dashing off an indiscernible code on his laptop keyboard and sharply striking the enter key multiple times with his forefinger, a fast-talking ...
Man Wishes Computer Could Do Thing It Already Can Do
RICHMOND, VA—Though confirming he is mostly satisfied with his newly acquired Mac desktop, local man Peter Selwyn said Wednesday he is disappointed that it ...
