Science & Technology
Scientists Theorize Existence Of NBA Roster Capable Of Supporting Dwight Howard
CAMBRIDGE, MA—In a major breakthrough that has sent shockwaves through the basketball community, the nation’s preeminent scientists announced Thursday that a roster capable ...
Headline With Words ‘HIV Baby’ In It Somehow Turns Out Okay
NEW YORK—A recent newspaper headline that included the words “HIV Baby” somehow managed to turn out okay by the end, numerous readers confirmed Tuesday.
Embarrassed Sony CEO Announces New Video Game System
'This Is Really Nerdy, I Know,' Executive Says
NEW YORK—Saying he realizes the whole thing is “incredibly nerdy,” embarrassed Sony CEO Kazuo Hirai announced at a press event today that the company ...
Man Bumps Into Hyperlink He Turned Purple Three Years Ago
Man Bumps Into Hyperlink He Turned Purple Three Years Ago
Earth Destroys Meteor
Earth Destroys Meteor
New Sony Nose Buds Allow Users To Blast Different Smells Into Nostrils
NEW YORK—Hailing the product as a revolution in smelling technology, Sony released its sleek new line of nose buds Monday, which will allow consumers ...
New Sony Nose Buds Allow Users To Blast Different Smells Into Nostrils
Hailing the product as a revolution in smelling technology, Sony released its sleek new line of nose buds Monday, which will allow consumers to blast ...
Hungover Energy Secretary Wakes Up Next To Solar Panel
WASHINGTON—Sources have reported that following a long night of carousing at a series of D.C. watering holes, Energy Secretary Steven Chu awoke Thursday ...
IT Guy Refers To Laptop As 'Machine'
IT Guy Refers To Laptop As 'Machine'
Report: Peanut Butter Contains Traces Of Rat Feces But Life's Weird Like That Sometimes
A report released Monday by the Food and Drug Administration stated that the majority of peanut butter sold in the United States contains trace amounts ...
Report: Peanut Butter Contains Traces Of Rat Feces But Life's Weird Like That Sometimes
WASHINGTON—A report released Monday by the Food and Drug Administration stated that the majority of peanut butter sold in the United States contains trace ...
China Chokes Under Toxic Smog
Beijing has struggled with record air pollution this year, which has blotted out the sun, grounded flights, and affected the health and quality of life ...
Hometown Wistfully Toured Via Google Street View
COLUMBUS, OH—Eleven years after last walking through his hometown, 29-year-old local man Paul Brundage reportedly spent the entire evening Friday revisiting his childhood neighborhood ...
Blackberry Stunned As Alicia Keys Terminates 200 Employees On First Day As Global Creative Director
Blackberry Stunned As Alicia Keys Terminates 200 Employees On First Day As Global Creative Director
Apple Announces Plans For New iPad With Extra Storage Drawer
CUPERTINO, CA—In what tech giant Apple is calling a “major leap forward” for one of its most beloved products, the company announced Tuesday it ...

















