Science & Technology
New Remote Control Can Be Operated By Remote
TOKYO—Television watching became even more convenient this week with Sony's introduction of a new remote-controlled remote control.
Hubble Space Telescope Finds Men From Venus, Women From Mars
PASADENA, CA—Astrophysicists and self-help authors alike expressed shock Friday when new data from the Hubble Space Telescope indicated that, contrary to prior belief, men ...
Top Websites
There are hundreds of thousands of websites in cyberspace. Which ones are the most popular?
Caller ID Fever
Caller ID has quickly become one of the most popular phone services. Why are so many Americans getting it?
Experts Predict On-Line World Of 21st Century To Feature More Breasts
PALO ALTO, CA—Government officials, computer scientists and leading information-technology figures from around the globe met at the annual International CyberTechnology Summit at Stanford University ...
Shareware Fee Paid
SAN FRANCISCO—The international computing community was stunned Monday following the announcement that San Francisco-area computer user Jeffrey Schaeffer had paid the requested $10 fee ...
Homepage Hysteria
With the surging popularity of the Internet, millions of Americans are creating individual websites that express their unique personalitites. What are our reasons for setting ...
Chess Supercomputer Beaten Up By More Popular Computer
KATONAH, NY—IBM's Deep Blue, the chess supercomputer that recently contended with world chess champion Gary Kasparov, was beaten up Monday by a Macintosh ...
Absent-Minded Professor Says Cure For Cancer 'Around Here Somewhere'
BALTIMORE—After a lifetime dedicated to finding a cure for cancer, absent-minded Johns Hopkins University professor Humbert E. Huggins reports that a 100 percent effective ...
Super Monkey Collider Loses Funding
PALO ALTO, CA—Scientists insist the collider is important to study of the universe, as no one knows for certain what happens when monkeys collide.
Outer Space Discoveries
In the past ten years, the scientific world has enjoyed a tremendous surge in astonomical discovery. What have they learned?
I Am Threatened By Flavor Crystals vs. Flavor Crystals Rock My World!
Go ahead, call me old-fashioned! I don't care if you brazen teenage hoodlums mock me! Maybe my views are not "in," "happening" or "out ...
Hawaiian Punch Physicists Unveil New 500-Megaton Very-Berry Bomb
OAHU, HI—Sources deep within Hawaiian Punch's secret military compound near Oahu revealed Monday that the fruit juice superpower has developed a devastating new ...
New Solar System Discovered Four Feet From Earth
PALO ALTO, CA—This new find is Earth's nearest celestial neighbor, beating Alpha Centauri by four light years minus a few feet.
Earth Contacted By Extraterrestrial Nerds
PALO ALTO, CA—Researchers are responding with mockery and distaste after geeky aliens transmitted prime numbers from one to 100.
BYU Scientists Convert Matter Into Mormonism
PROVO, UT—Physicists from Brigham Young University announced they have converted a tiny particle into the truth and sanctity of the Book of Mormon.



















