CALVERTON, MD—Sixth-grader Adam Jones' family tree, assigned recently as homework, fails to hold up to scrutiny, social-studies teacher Gwen Wexler reported Monday. "I'm ...

INDIANAPOLIS—The newly discovered 'Law Of Difficulty' holds true for all branches of science, from astronomy to molecular biology.

STATE COLLEGE, PA— The 24 other students in a Penn State Paleontology 101 discussion section wince with dread whenever fundamentalist Christian Joseph Moseley raises his ...

GRESHAM, OR—In a breakthrough that has electrified the world's 10-and-under scientific community, Mrs. Wagner's third-grade class successfully vaporized water under controlled classroom ...

DALLAS—The 750 quadrillion stores will give customers unprecedented access to movie rentals during their diaspora into deep space.

PROVIDENCE, RI—After years of budget cuts and downsizing, Brown University's Semiotics Department lashed out at school administrators Monday, accusing them of "blatant anti-semiotism ...

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Paleontologist and author Stephen Jay Gould spoke out against the increasingly aggressive tactics of the paparazzi Tuesday, railing against "the reckless throngs of ...

BATAVIA, IL—Bush, who describes himself as "something of an armchair physicist," said that anyone could have made that mistake.

STOCKHOLM—The unclaimed Nobel Prize for medicine will allow one lucky scientist to never have to do another research project again.

LONDON–An elaborate, 155-year-old hoax was revealed Monday, when the Royal Astronomical Society confessed that the planet Neptune does not exist. "It appears to have ...

DALLAS—Haggar's new wrinkle-free slacks represent the first wearable pair of non-Newtonian pants.

NEW YORK–During a Tuesday visit to the American Museum of Natural History, Omaha resident Mary Stefano, 49, struggled to understand the concept of suggested ...

COLLEGE STATION, TX–Agricultural scientists around the world are hailing what is being called "the biggest breakthrough in biotechnology since the breakthrough it fixes."

BYRD, ANTARCTICA–Brad Swithers, three-time winner of the Molson Ice/Edge Gel South Pole Laff-Off, said Monday that he is running out of ideas for ...

WASHINGTON, DC–Grimacing in considerable pain Monday, Rep. William Delahunt (D-MA) quickly drafted and introduced the 2001 Charley Horse Research Appropriations Act, which would allocate ...

BOSTON–According to the findings of a paper published Monday in The American Journal Of Sociology, the behaviors and experiences of Boston sociologist Dr. Stephen ...

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Certain forms of horrible knowledge that Man was not meant to possess are still years away from becoming standard practice.

CINCINNATI—A 2-year-old lab rabbit gave his full endorsement to Cover Girl Long & Luscious mascara Monday.