Senior citizens
New Medicare Plan
Criticized as needlessly confusing, the new Medicare prescription-drug program, Medicare Part D, went into effect this week. What do you...
Your Grandpa Insists Someone You've Never Heard Of Should Be In Hall Of Fame
SCRANTON, PA—Your grandfather, a retired tradesman in his 80s, continues to demand that a scrappy, tenacious bulldog of a player whom no one else ...
Longtime Married Couple Subjected To Excruciating 'Romantic Weekend Getaway'
KENOSHA, WI—Sources report that longtime married couple Duane and Edna Schumacher's weekend stay at Chicago's FantasyLand Suites was a grueling ordeal of ...
Kleenex Box Inadequately Covered
EMPORIA, KS—Area widow Gwen Reid is said to be "crocheting frantically" following Tuesday's discovery of an uncovered Kleenex facial-tissue box in her home ...
The Social Security Time Bomb
Experts continue to urge Congress to cut the growth of Social Security, warning that the nation faces unsustainable deficits if action isn't taken. What ...
Garden Too Much For Grandma This Summer
TULSA, OK—Though she has tended the same 10' x 25' backyard vegetable plot for more than three decades, local grandmother Helen Fischer, 74, said ...
Papal Apartments Found Filled With Old Newspapers, Empty Pill Bottles, Mangy Cats
VATICAN CITY—Housekeeping staff at the Vatican's Apostolic Palace, the official papal residence, were shocked to discover stacks of yellowing newspapers, empty medication bottles ...
Area Woman Recalls Days When She Resented Being Hit On
SALEM, OR—Kimberly Jones, 43, vividly remembers the bygone days when she took umbrage at being pursued by aggressive suitors, sources reported Monday. "I was ...
New Bailiff Tired Of Hearing How Old Bailiff Did Things
FLAGSTAFF, AZ—Deputy Benjamin H. Weaver, court bailiff of the Flagstaff Municipal Courthouse, has grown weary of the constant comparisons to recently retired bailiff Leo ...
