Senior citizens
Strom Turns 100
On Dec. 5, U.S. Sen. Strom Thurmond (R-SC) turned 100. How did he celebrate the milestone?
Elderly Man Silently Wages War Against Pharmacy
AKRON, OH—Local retiree Gerald Stennis, 87, has been waging a silent war against the Copley Road Walgreens for the past two months, family members ...
Stephen King Calls It Quits
Author Stephen King recently announced he will quit writing after publishing five more books. How does the King Of Horror plan to spend his retirement?
83-Year-Old Sneaks Into 65-To-80 Singles Dance
APPLETON, WI—Claude Winters, 83, falsified his age Saturday to gain admission to a dance for singles aged 65 to 80 at the Appleton VFW ...
Family Now Openly Wondering When Grandma Will Die
ATHENS, GA—After years of silent speculation, Trotter family members openly wondered Monday when ailing family matriarch Helen Trotter would die. "I'd say sometime ...
Nation's Grandmas Halt Production Of Afghan Blankets
WASHINGTON, DC— In a show of support for the U.S., the nation's grandmas announced plans Monday to stop knitting afghan blankets. "We must ...
Move To Houseboat Regretted By Third Day
TARPON SPRINGS, FL—Semi-retired attorney George Schulman, 62, is already expressing remorse over his move into a Suncruiser 360 houseboat last Saturday. "I thought it ...
Bush Vows To Wipe Out Prescription-Drug Addiction Among Seniors
WASHINGTON, DC—Pledging to help "the millions of elderly Americans who can't get through the day without popping pills or shooting up insulin," President ...
Slain Cop Had Only 37 Years Until Retirement
DETROIT–In a tragic twist of fate, Detroit police officer Stephen Brophy was cut down in the line of duty Monday, just 37 years before ...
Tenants Feel Guilty Asking Elderly Maintenance Man To Fix Anything
BOSTON–Tenants in the apartment building at 437 Market St. reported Monday that they experience a gnawing feeling of guilt every time they ask Hank ...
Citizens To Vote On Young Or Old Reagan For $15 Bill
WASHINGTON, DC–On the heels of the Ronald Reagan Airport and U.S.S. Ronald Reagan aircraft carrier, citizens can now vote for one of ...














