Sex

Dry Humping An Adequate Sex Alternative For Teens, Says Weird, Unsolicited Report From Department Of Interior

ISSUE 48•03 | 01.19.12 | News

WASHINGTON—According to Beltway sources, confused White House staffers arrived at their desks Wednesday to find a meticulously researched, entirely unrequested report from the Interior Department assessing dry humping as a suitable sex alternative f... more»
Prime Minister Of Norway Gets Laid

ISSUE 48•01 | 01.03.12 | News in Brief

OSLO, NORWAY—Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg got laid on Friday, according to a spokesperson for the Norwegian government. more»
Home Sex Tape Watched Only Once

ISSUE 47•36 | 09.05.11 | Radio News
Shelby Cross Takes On Public Indecency By Videotaping Teens Having Sex (Season 1: Ep 7 on IFC)

ISSUE 47•35 | 08.31.11 | Onion News Network On IFC

Shelby Cross is tired of seeing couples having intercourse through her binoculars. more»
Lonely Teacher, Outcast Student Begin Somewhat Endearing Sexual Relationship

ISSUE 47•33 | 08.20.11 | News

FORT WORTH, TX—Filling the voids of loneliness present in their respective lives, Robert P. Hughes High School science teacher Lorraine Belmont, 33, and sophomore Matthew Clark, 16, have reportedly begun a sexual relationship that observers have des... more»
Rise In Teen Sexual Activity Comes As Surprise To Area Teen

ISSUE 47•33 | 08.19.11 | Radio News
How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him

ISSUE 47•15 | 04.12.11 | Today Now!

Watch Our Webby Award Winning Coverage: Today Now! dating expert Rebeccah Rachel shares tips for getting the attention of that cute guy who's thrusting his erection inside of you. more»
Young Adults, Teens Having Less Sex

ISSUE 47•10 | 03.08.11 | American Voices

According to a survey by the Guttmacher Institute, the number of teens and young adults who report they've never had intercourse has risen substantially. more»
Dead Teenager Remembered For Great Hand Jobs

ISSUE 47•09 | 03.05.11 | News

GOLDSBORO, NC—Friends, classmates, and loved ones gathered last night at a memorial service in the Westside High School gymnasium to celebrate the life of 17-year-old Brooke Belzer, who, before she died tragically in a car accident last week, was beloved for her bright personality and for giving easily the best hand jobs in the school. more»
Two Quarter-Filled Wine Glasses Left On A Table In Front Of A Sunset And Other Ways To Indicate That People Are Fucking In The Other Room

ISSUE 46•33 | 08.20.10 | Sunday Magazine
Twister Party Fails To Get Dirty

ISSUE 46•33 | 08.16.10 | Radio News
Trojan Introduces ‘No One’s Pleasure’ Condoms For Bitter, Resentful Couples

ISSUE 46•30 | 07.26.10 | News

PRINCETON, NJ—Contraceptive manufacturer Trojan unveiled its new line of “No One’s Pleasure” condoms Wednesday, the first prophylactic specifically designed to intensify sexual dissatisfaction among bitter and resentful couples. more»
Erectile Dysfunction Linked To Heart Disease Fatality

ISSUE 46•11 | 03.19.10 | American Voices

German researchers have found that erectile dysfunction is a strong indicator that a man will die from heart disease. What do you think? more»
How Are We Keeping Our Abstinence Pledges?

ISSUE 46•08 | 02.24.10 | Statshot
Rise In Teen Pregnancy Proves Teens Still Got It

ISSUE 46•07 | 02.15.10 | News

WASHINGTON—Despite concerns that abstinence-only programs were robbing teens of their natural ability to bring it, these Bush-era initiatives have actually reinvigorated the sexually active group, allowing them to dig deep and strut their stuff like never before. more»
Smoove Is Not A Fan Of Valentine's Day

ISSUE 46•06 | 02.11.10 | Commentary

A word of warning: The following column could very well blow your mind. Smoove urges you to read it with the utmost caution. We are... more»
20,000 Tons Of Pubic Hair Trimmed In Preparation For Valentine's Day

ISSUE 46•06 | 02.11.10 | News

WASHINGTON—"It's going to be so romantic!" said Brooklyn resident Lydia Simonson, who along with hundreds of thousands of citizens will soon excuse herself from her daily duties, and retreat into a nearby bathroom to carefully tend to the area around her vulva. more»
Beatty Bedded 12,775 Women, Book Says

ISSUE 46•01 | 01.06.10 | American Voices

According to a biography by Peter Biskind, actor Warren Beatty has had sex with approximately 12,775 women in the past 52 years. What do you... more»
Nation's Nipples Severely Under-Clamped, U.S. Bureau Of Masochism Reports

ISSUE 46•01 | 01.05.10 | News

WASHINGTON—"The vast majority of U.S. citizens are simply not receiving the physical punishment they deserve,” said Masochism Bureau chief Geoff Knowlton, who was permitted by his mistress Alexandria to meet with reporters despite being unfit for anything besides groveling at her boot heels. more»
Virgin Mary Night-Light Stares Accusingly As Christian Teen Masturbates

ISSUE 46•01 | 01.05.10 | News in Photos
VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill

ISSUE 46•01 | 01.04.10 | Newsroom

Clean-up crews are hard at work after a VH1 bus carrying reality show contestants overturned, spilling 2,000 pounds of highly concentrated slut. more»
Last Minute Of Man's Sexual Prime Expires During Routine Visit To Dry Cleaner

ISSUE 45•50 | 12.09.09 | News in Brief

WICHITA, KS—At 8:42 p.m. Thursday, Wichita resident Cody Dixon, 29, reportedly spent the final seconds of his peak period of virility... more»
If I'm So Crazy, Then Why Do People Keep Having Sex With Me?

ISSUE 45•45 | 11.03.09 | Commentary

You know, I'm getting really sick of this. I am a perfectly normal, fully functioning adult, and yet it seems like every other day someone tells... more»
In This Economy, It Would Be Crazy To Run Out And Expose Yourself To Your Son's Soccer Team

ISSUE 45•44 | 10.27.09 | Commentary

Ladies and gentlemen, it's rough out there. I don't need to tell you that. A lot of folks have seen their savings go up in smoke the last couple... more»
Self-Defense Instructor Simulates Attacker Right Down To Erection

ISSUE 45•38 | 09.15.09 | News in Photos
A Smoove Evening

ISSUE 45•37 | 09.10.09 | Commentary

Damn. The last year has been full of challenges and heartbreak for Smoove B. His one true girl continues to ignore his many heartfelt... more»
Pantene Markets New Shampoo As Best For Masturbating Boyfriend In Shower

ISSUE 45•33 | 08.14.09 | News

CINCINNATI—"If you have difficult-to-manage hair and a two-hander to contend with, Pantene Pro V2 has got you covered," said spokeswoman Karen Radcliffe. more»
Area Couple Not Sure If Sex Was Tantric

ISSUE 45•31 | 07.29.09 | News in Brief

SCARSDALE, NY—Following two hours of stilted, uncomfortable intercourse in which the couple started and stopped at various times, Jeff and... more»
7 Million People Direct Descendants Of Single Smooth-Talking Ancestor

ISSUE 45•29 | 07.11.09 | News

BALTIMORE—"To have propagated his genetic material so effectively, we can infer the he was quite the charmer," said head researcher Lawrence Ghilcrest. more»
Man Somehow Getting Worse At Sex

ISSUE 45•07 | 02.09.09 | News

ATLANTA—"It doesn't make any sense," 32-year-old Peter Graney said. "I'm starting to think I might have been better at this whole thing back in high school." more»

sex

Dry Humping An Adequate Sex Alternative For Teens, Says Weird, Unsolicited Report From Department Of Interior

Prime Minister Of Norway Gets Laid

Home Sex Tape Watched Only Once

Shelby Cross Takes On Public Indecency By Videotaping Teens Having Sex (Season 1: Ep 7 on IFC)

Lonely Teacher, Outcast Student Begin Somewhat Endearing Sexual Relationship

Rise In Teen Sexual Activity Comes As Surprise To Area Teen

How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him

Young Adults, Teens Having Less Sex

Dead Teenager Remembered For Great Hand Jobs

Two Quarter-Filled Wine Glasses Left On A Table In Front Of A Sunset And Other Ways To Indicate That People Are Fucking In The Other Room

Twister Party Fails To Get Dirty

Trojan Introduces ‘No One’s Pleasure’ Condoms For Bitter, Resentful Couples

Erectile Dysfunction Linked To Heart Disease Fatality

How Are We Keeping Our Abstinence Pledges?

Rise In Teen Pregnancy Proves Teens Still Got It

Smoove Is Not A Fan Of Valentine's Day

20,000 Tons Of Pubic Hair Trimmed In Preparation For Valentine's Day

Beatty Bedded 12,775 Women, Book Says

Nation's Nipples Severely Under-Clamped, U.S. Bureau Of Masochism Reports

Virgin Mary Night-Light Stares Accusingly As Christian Teen Masturbates

VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill

Last Minute Of Man's Sexual Prime Expires During Routine Visit To Dry Cleaner

If I'm So Crazy, Then Why Do People Keep Having Sex With Me?

In This Economy, It Would Be Crazy To Run Out And Expose Yourself To Your Son's Soccer Team

Self-Defense Instructor Simulates Attacker Right Down To Erection

A Smoove Evening

Pantene Markets New Shampoo As Best For Masturbating Boyfriend In Shower

Area Couple Not Sure If Sex Was Tantric

7 Million People Direct Descendants Of Single Smooth-Talking Ancestor

Man Somehow Getting Worse At Sex

American Voices »

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan