OLYMPIA, WA—"Read a book, write a letter, go to a museum," Ian Schiller advised through a yawn, still visibly fatigued from his onanistic excess.

A University of Iowa professor is accused of fondling students in exchange for higher grades. What do you think?

Cosmo scientists have finally cataloged every single way to satisfy your man's carnal cravings by stimulating his secret sex zones.

LANCASTER, PA—The probable Mediterranean sex god who relayed the message rolled his R's in a manner that suggested he could outperform you sexually.

OSHKOSH—Brian Penderman went on to explain that the reason his penis was so sore today was because it had repeatedly entered and exited a ...

SEATTLE—"Once I saw two guys kissing in the bathroom, but I thought they were just drunk. Now it makes perfect sense, though," resident Frank ...

CHICAGO—From a statistical perspective, it stands to reason that at least two out of all the people on Earth are totally going at it ...

COLUMBUS, OH—The shame, humiliation, and ridicule local teen Brandon Means suffered from being the only member of his peer group still...

FAIRFIELD, CA—The orgy was marked by long stretches of silence despite the use of only two ball gags, and began with a melancholy daisy ...

EVANSTON, IL—The parents of recently admitted bisexual Jeremy Lambert said they completely half-understand their 19-year-old son's lifestyle...

'Cum Inside' star Jennica St. Foxx is receiving heavy criticism for using a racial slur in her latest film.

HOUSTON— "I put my finger up your—lips. Up to your lips. Like, to hush you, because the moment is so awe-inspiring," said Kendler, choking ...

ARLINGTON, VA—"Sadly, many of these promiscuous singles may never realize how miserable a lifetime of supremely pleasurable sex can make them," said Dr. Sullivan.

NEW BRIGHTON, MN— "I'm so happy!" Crowley said of the golf ball–sized, nutrient-sapping organism that will eventually require hospitalization in order to be ...