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    Social Media

    Weird-Looking Guy Somehow Manages To Look Normal In Facebook Profile Picture

    News in Brief • ISSUE 49•30 • Jul 24, 2013
    NEWTON, MA—Despite exhibiting what numerous acquaintances have described as a distinctly odd appearance, local man Daniel Hobson has somehow managed to look relatively normal ...

    Man’s Idea For Tweet Just Pops Into His Mind Almost Fully Formed

    News in Brief • ISSUE 49•29 • Jul 16, 2013
    TRENTON, NJ—In an astonishing moment of creative inspiration, local Twitter user Chase Munson, 29, told reporters Monday that his latest idea for a tweet ...

    Facebook: ‘We Will Make Our Product Worse, You Will Be Upset, And Then You Will Live With It’

    News in Brief • ISSUE 49•28 • Jul 10, 2013
    MENLO PARK, CA—In a statement released to its 1.1 billion users, social media site Facebook announced Wednesday that the company will continue to ...

    9 MUST-FOLLOW Al-Qaeda Leaders On Twitter

    Slideshow • ISSUE 49•23 • Jun 5, 2013

    Local Laundromat Employs Social Media Coordinator

    News in Brief • ISSUE 49•23 • Jun 4, 2013
    CHESTER, PA—Saying that it was the next logical step for the company, the owners of local laundromat Sudz Cleaners told reporters Tuesday that they ...

    Guy Wondering How Much Longer To Keep Picture Of Dead Friend As Profile Pic

    News With Video • ISSUE 49•22 • May 31, 2013
    SANTA CLARA, CA—With several weeks now having passed since the tragic death of his old college roommate, local man Keith Bisbee told reporters Friday ...

    Guy Wondering How Much Longer To Keep Picture Of Dead Friend As Profile Pic

    Onion Special Report • ISSUE 49•22 • May 31, 2013
    SANTA CLARA, CA—With several weeks now having passed since the tragic death of his old college roommate, local man Keith Bisbee told reporters Friday ...

    19 Tweets From The Audubon Society/Barack Obama Twitter Feud

    Slideshow • ISSUE 49•22 • May 30, 2013

    Yahoo Back On Top After Purchasing Millions Of 13-Year-Old Girls’ Blogs

    News in Brief • ISSUE 49•21 • May 20, 2013
    SUNNYVALE, CA—Finally overcoming competition from the likes of Google, Microsoft, and AOL, internet corporation Yahoo firmly re-secured its place as an industry leader after ...

    Friend Who Sent Link To 8-Minute YouTube Video Must Be Fucking Delusional

    News in Brief • ISSUE 49•20 • May 15, 2013
    SALEM, OR—Sources confirmed that local man Paul Gallagher emailed friends a link to an eight-minute-long YouTube video Wednesday, evidently experiencing some kind of psychotic ...

    Social Media Rock Star Makes $28,000 Per Year

    News With Video • ISSUE 49•18 • May 3, 2013
    MARIETTA, GA—Widely regarded as one of the online world’s brightest personalities, sources confirmed Friday that famed 28-year-old social media rock star Ryan Wasserman ...

    VIRAL VIDEO: High School Sophomore Sinks Incredible, Unnecessary Half-Court Shot

    Today Now! • ISSUE 49•16 • Apr 18, 2013
    Ryan Jurgens rode the bench most of the season, but when his coach gave him a chance, it really paid off!

    Internet Comes Up With 8.5 Million Leads On Potential Boston Bombing Suspect

    News • ISSUE 49•16 • Apr 17, 2013
    WASHINGTON—In the wake of Monday’s terrorist bombing at the Boston Marathon, sources reported today the internet had come up with approximately 8.5 ...

    Leading Social Media Site HarvardConnection Now Valued At $400 Billion

    News • ISSUE 49•15 • Apr 10, 2013
    MENLO PARK, CA—Dawn breaks across San Francisco Bay, and on this brisk April day the only sound disturbing the morning quiet is the steady ...

    Guy With 10,000 Tweets, 15 Followers About Ready To Hang It Up

    News With Video • ISSUE 49•13 • Mar 28, 2013
    CHICAGO—Saying that he’s probably done all he could possibly do at this point, Twitter user Aaron Gartner confirmed Tuesday that after posting 10 ...

    Area Man Panics After Accidentally 'Liking' 381 Of His Ex-Girlfriend’s Facebook Photos

    News With Video • ISSUE 49•08 • Feb 21, 2013
    BOISE, ID—As he browsed the social networking site Facebook last night, local man Aaron Neutzling, 24, reportedly panicked after realizing that in the course ...

    Area Man Panics After Accidentally 'Liking' 381 Of His Ex-Girlfriend’s Facebook Photos

    Onion Special Report • ISSUE 49•08 • Feb 21, 2013
    As he browsed the social networking site Facebook last night, local man Aaron Neutzling, 24, reportedly panicked after realizing that in the course of the ...

    Friend's Mom Tearing It Up On Facebook

    News in Brief • ISSUE 49•04 • Jan 23, 2013
    PORTLAND, ME—Friends of area man Nick Overbeck confirmed today that the 26-year-old’s mother has been absolutely ripping it up on Facebook over the ...

    Man Just Going To Go Ahead And Use His Salary As His Online Dating Username

    Newswire • ISSUE 49•02 • Jan 12, 2013

    Area Woman Decides Not To Post Facebook Status That Would Have Tipped Gun Control Debate

    News in Brief • ISSUE 49•02 • Jan 11, 2013
    AURORA, IL—The contentious debate on gun control will continue unresolved after local woman Theresa Delacroix opted Friday not to post an anti-gun message on ...
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