Greatest-Ever Olympic Moments
With the opening of the XXIX Summer Olympiad in Beijing, Onion Sports looks back on moments from the past that passed forever into...
Sports year in review 2008
Favre: I've Always Had A Passion For Stopping Things, Then Starting To Do Things Again
KILN, MS—Embattled quarterback Brett Favre attempted Monday to explain his recent actions concerning his recent reversal of his decision to...
C.C. Sabathia, Prince Fielder Keep Imagining Each Other As Giant Talking Hot Dog, Hamburger
MILWAUKEE—The Brewers' playoff push has run afoul of an unusual distraction, as sources close to the organization confirm that newly acquired husky starting pitcher ...
Man Who Used Stick To Roll Ball Into Hole In Ground Praised For His Courage
SAN DIEGO—A man who used several different bent sticks to hit a ball to an area comprised of very short grass surrounding a hole ...
God Wastes Miracle On Running Catch In Outfield
HEAVEN—Rather than use His almighty power to breathe life back into the 130,000 people who perished in the Myanmar cyclone, rebuild an...
ESPN The Magazine Editor: 'Look At All The Pretty Pictures'
BRISTOL, CT—Gary Belsky, editor-in-chief of ESPN The Magazine, expressed satisfaction and delight with the mockup of his publication's...
Pacman Jones: 'Who Do I Have To Kill To Get Reinstated Into The NFL?'
DALLAS—Noting that it has been over a year since his supposed one-year suspension from the NFL for his involvement in off-the-field criminal...
Nike Signs Big Brown To $90 Million Horseshoe Contract
PORTLAND, OR—In a move that added the world's pre-eminent equine athlete to its stable of endorsers Tuesday, Nike signed Kentucky Derby and Preakness ...
Stackley Cup Playoffs Underway
NEW YORK—The 2008 Stackley Cup Playoffs, a set of odd-number-of-games series that will determine the champion of the National Huckie League, are well underway ...
Sidney Crosby
Sidney Crosby may be the best player in the NHL. But is he any good?
Nevada Boxing Commission Denies Involvement In Fighting Ring
LAS VEGAS—The Nevada Boxing Commission has pleaded not guilty for involvement in a fighting ring, which, according to the indictment, has...
A-Rod To Reporter After Interview: 'How Was That?'
NEW YORK—Following an interview with YES Network analyst Kimberly Jones, Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez immediately began inquring as to...
Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capitol Rotunda
WASHINGTON, DC—An 8,976-foot foul ball off the bat of Washington third baseman Ryan Zimmerman crashed through the U.S. Capitol Building rotunda Sunday ...
Report: Olympics Mathematically Likely To Happen This Year
LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND—Despite the numerous and varied difficulties faced by Beijing officials as the 2008 Olympiad draws nearer, International...
Baseball Swing So Bad It Makes Joe Morgan Vomit
ST. LOUIS—Moments after watching Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina get fooled into swinging well ahead of a 73 mph curveball, ESPN Sunday Night...
High School Team Denies Winning For Dead Teammate
MONONGAHELA, FL—The Monongahela West Tarpon, a boy's prep baseball team that has surged to a two-game lead in the Frostproof conference with a...
