Sports
Preakness Loser Orb Gets Chewed Out By Trainer On Walk From Stall To Trailer
Preakness Loser Orb Gets Chewed Out By Trainer On Walk From Stall To Trailer
Baseball Player's Season Going To Depend On If He Can Stay Healthy
Baseball Player's Season Going To Depend On If He Can Stay Healthy
Cleveland Browns Gearing Up To Punt Ball Down Opponents’ Throats
CLEVELAND—Claiming they want to impose their will against the competition, Cleveland Browns head coach Rob Chudzinski announced Friday that the team is gearing up ...
Biggest Sports Collapses
With Sergio Garcia plummeting from first place to a seven-way tie for eighth at the Players Championship last weekend, Onion Sports examines some of the ...
Skill Difference Between Top, Bottom High School Tennis Seeds Hilarious
PALATINE, IL—During a tennis tournament hosted by Fremd High School, spectators, coaches, and fellow competitors agreed Thursday that the massive gulf in skill levels ...
David Beckham Announces He’s A Quitter
PARIS—Following a storied 21-year career, global soccer icon David Beckham officially announced Thursday that, at the age of 38, he is a giant quitter.
NBA.com Holds Contest Challenging Fans To Name An Indiana Pacer
NBA.com Holds Contest Challenging Fans To Name An Indiana Pacer
Yankees Fans Turn On Mariano Rivera After Spat With Wildly Popular Joba Chamberlain
NEW YORK—Following the pair’s highly publicized confrontation before a game last week, New York Yankees closer Mariano Rivera reportedly felt the full wrath ...
Bitter Feud Developing Between Joakim Noah, Rest Of Humanity
MIAMI—As the Chicago Bulls prepare to face the Miami Heat in what is a must-win playoff elimination game for Chicago, sources around the world ...
Eliminated Canucks Excited To Spend Time With Ice Families
VANCOUVER—Though disappointed to exit the Stanley Cup playoffs in the first round, Vancouver Canucks players and coaches told reporters on Monday that they looked ...
Victorious Tiger Woods: 'I Hit The Ball Well, My Life Is A Dark And Twisted Struggle, And I Made Some Good Putts'
PONTE VEDRA BEACH, FL—During the trophy presentation at this year’s Players Championship, tournament winner Tiger Woods told the assembled crowd that he struck ...
Andy Reid Questions Toughness Of Steak
Andy Reid Questions Toughness Of Steak
Jason Collins Just Might Be Frontcourt Presence Team Trying To Boost Media Coverage Needs
WASHINGTON—NBA analyst Bruce Bowen reportedly suggested Friday that openly gay free agent center Jason Collins just might be the perfect frontcourt presence for a ...
Jason Collins Might Be Just The Frontcourt Presence Team Trying To Boost Media Coverage Needs
WASHINGTON—NBA analyst Bruce Bowen reportedly suggested Friday that openly gay free agent center Jason Collins just might be the perfect frontcourt presence for a ...
Cincinnati Reds Somehow 2 7/8 Games Out Of First
Cincinnati Reds Somehow 2 7/8 Games Out Of First
LeBron James' Career Highlights So Far
With LeBron James winning his fourth MVP award, Onion Sports examines the greatest moments from the superstar’s career up to this point.
1991: In ...
Michael Strahan Snaps Out Of 8-Year-Long Concussion Haze To Find Self Rolling Pastry Dough With Kelly Ripa
Michael Strahan Snaps Out Of 8-Year-Long Concussion Haze To Find Self Rolling Pastry Dough With Kelly Ripa
