Sports
Car Dealership Giving Serious Thought To Ending Sponsorship Deal With Jerry Sandusky
ALTOONA, PA—Admitting that the promotion has not been as successful as they would have hoped, salespeople at Mattingly Perkins Automotive told reporters Wednesday that ...
Report: Alex Rodriguez Has Asked 4 In 5 Americans For Steroids
NEW YORK—As evidence of doping continues to mount against the 14-time MLB All-Star, reports surfaced Wednesday confirming that throughout the course of his 19-year ...
Notable Sports Suspensions
With the MLB suspending Brewers left fielder Ryan Braun 65 games for violating the league's drug policy, Onion Sports takes a look at some ...
Golden State Warriors Tore Up NBA Summer League, Reports Man Who Has Never Been So Alone
LINTON, IN—While sitting at the Sportsman Pub’s bar Thursday, local man Gregory Quinn, who has never felt so lonely and isolated in his ...
Tony Romo Practicing For First Time Since Surgery To Remove Ovarian Cyst
OXNARD, CA—According to sources inside the Dallas Cowboys training staff, quarterback Tony Romo returned to the practice field Thursday for the first time since ...
Greg Oden Suppresses Severe Shooting Pain All Over Body During Meeting With Heat
INDIANAPOLIS—Having already received interest from several other NBA teams, reports confirmed Thursday that former Portland Trail Blazers center Greg Oden suppressed acute shooting pains ...
Doctors Clear RGIII’s Knee For Light Tearing
RICHMOND, VA—Calling it an encouraging sign for the 23-year-old, Redskins team doctors have reportedly cleared quarterback Robert Griffin III’s knee to resume light ...
Jason Garrett Despondent After Finding Bill Cowher’s Resume In Cowboys Office Printer
Jason Garrett Despondent After Finding Bill Cowher’s Resume In Cowboys Office Printer
Brewers Worried Ryan Braun Suspension Might Put Season In Jeopardy
MILWAUKEE—Following news that Milwaukee Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun will sit out the rest of 2013 due to his alleged involvement with performance-enhancing drug supplier ...
Ryan Braun: 'Never Believe Any Of Us'
MILWAUKEE—In his first statement after receiving a 65-game suspension from baseball, Brewers slugger Ryan Braun called on fans Tuesday to remember that every single ...
Area Dad Just Absolutely Sobbing After Phil Mickelson Win
DOVER, DE—After Phil Mickelson birdied the 18th hole at Muirfield to assure his British Open victory last Sunday, local dad Tom Culp reportedly broke ...















