Sports
Patriots' 2006 Victory Parade Awkward, Sparsely Attended
BOSTON—Poor player attendance, negligible fan turnout, and a marked lack of general enthusiasm marred the New England Patriots' annual season-ending parade through the streets ...
Bill Romanowski Bursts Into Senate To Deny He Ever Took Steroids
WASHINGTON, DC—Former NFL linebacker Bill Romanowski, known during his 17-year career as a gung-ho fitness freak with a near-perfect physique, receding hairline, and extremely ...
Driving Truck Also Important Part Of NASCAR Truck Series Champion's Offseason
FRANKLIN, WI—2005 NASCAR Truck Series points champion Ted Musgrave said Monday that driving a Dodge Ram pickup truck also plays an important role in ...
Mother Throws Away Son's Baseball-Card Collection As Required By Narrative Convention
NEW HAVEN, CT—With her son Jason safely away at college, Janet Pinsky fulfilled the traditional custom of any suburban mother by throwing away her ...
Area Man Won't Do Anything Without Express Written Consent Of NFL
PITTSBURGH—Joel Mikita, a Steelers fan and extremely loyal follower of professional football, seeks out the NFL's explicit permission before engaging in any sort ...
Bowl Week Highlights
The 2005-2006 NCAA football season culminated with a week of unusually memorable college bowl games. What are the most notable moments?
New York Jets Finish Season
RUTHERFORD, NJ—Despite the doubts of many football fans, media figures, and people within the Jets organization itself, the New York Jets have indeed finished ...
Pete Rose Caught Trying To Get Inducted Into Hall Of Fame Under Assumed Name
COOPERSTOWN, NY—The Baseball Writers Association of America announced that the "former Cincinnati Reds superstar" and "quiet, unassuming model citizen" by the name of "Pat ...
Bode Miller: Skiing While On Cocaine, Vicodin, LSD Also Not Easy
NEW YORK—Skier Bode Miller, the outspoken defending World Cup champion and American gold-medal favorite who was quoted on 60 Minutes as saying that skiing ...
NFL Refs Admit 'Everything Just Happens So Fast'
TAMPA, FL—Just hours after officiating the Buccaneers-Redskins wild-card playoff game, referee Mike Carey admitted that "everything happens so fast out there it's a ...
Losing Super Bowl Team Gets Locker-Room Condolence Call From John Kerry
JACKSONVILLE, FL—Battered and demoralized after their 24-21 defeat at the hands of the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XXXIX Sunday, the Philadelphia Eagles ...
