Athlete Arrested

Sports News • ISSUE 49•17 • Apr 26, 2013

HOUSTON—According to numerous sources, a star athlete of the city’s professional sports team was reportedly arrested in the late hours of yesterday evening ...

Milwaukee Fans Urge Bucks To Stop Blocking View Of Miami Heat

Sports News in Brief • ISSUE 49•17 • Apr 26, 2013

MILWAUKEE—While attending Thursday’s first-round playoff matchup between the Miami Heat and the Milwaukee Bucks, frustrated fans repeatedly urged their hometown team to stop ...

Last Night's Live Coverage Of The 2013 NFL Draft

Twitter Update • ISSUE 49•17 • Apr 26, 2013

Foreign policy primer: Besides the US, there are 6 countries in the world. They are Israel, Iran, China, Libya, Syria and Afghanistan. — Onion Politics (@OnionPolitics ...

BREAKING: Andy Reid Trades First Overall Pick For Bite Of Bacon Double Cheeseburger

Sports News in Brief • ISSUE 49•17 • Apr 25, 2013

NEW YORK—After several minutes of intense negotiations, Kansas City Chiefs head coach Andy Reid agreed to trade the team’s No.

NFL Teams' Pre-Draft Needs

Sportsgraphic • ISSUE 49•17 • Apr 25, 2013

Onion Sports thoroughly examines the major needs of some NFL teams heading into the 2013 NFL Draft

Manti Te'o Informed He'll Go First Overall To Nebraska Pioneers

Sports News in Brief • ISSUE 49•17 • Apr 25, 2013

NEW YORK—Ending any speculation about the top pick in the 2013 NFL Draft, the Nebraska Pioneers have reportedly informed Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te ...

'I Want A Divorce,' Peter King's Wife Says Just Before He Tells Her About Best Defensive Backs In 2013 Draft

Sports News in Brief • ISSUE 49•17 • Apr 25, 2013

NEW YORK—Moments before launching into a long diatribe about the 2013 NFL Draft’s top defensive backs, Sports Illustrated writer Peter King’s wife ...

Onion Sports 2013 Mock NFL Draft

Sportsgraphic • ISSUE 49•17 • Apr 25, 2013

Conventional draft wisdom says to take the best player available, but sometimes a team needs something different.

Kim Kiper Puts Husband's Mock Draft Up On Fridge

Sports News in Brief • ISSUE 49•17 • Apr 24, 2013

TOWSON, MD—Kim Kiper proudly displayed her husband’s 2013 NFL mock draft on the refrigerator door Wednesday, claiming that the 52-year-old football analyst worked ...

Citing Battle Of Agincourt, Tim Duncan Urges Lakers Not To Get Too Discouraged By Game 1 Loss

Sports News in Brief • ISSUE 49•17 • Apr 23, 2013

SAN ANTONIO—Following the Lakers’ 91-79 loss in Game 1 of their playoff series, Spurs power forward Tim Duncan reportedly urged his opponents Tuesday not ...

Bronson Arroyo Celebrates Earth Day By Throwing 3-2 Curveball in Dirt

Sports Newswire • ISSUE 49•17 • Apr 23, 2013

Bronson Arroyo Celebrates Earth Day By Throwing 3-2 Curveball in Dirt

Ravens Impressed By Rolando McClain's Effort While Resisting Arrest

Sports Newswire • ISSUE 49•17 • Apr 23, 2013

Ravens Impressed By Rolando McClain's Effort While Resisting Arrest

Wolf Blitzer Decks Boston Man Who Hasn’t Been Healed By Red Sox Baseball

News in Brief • ISSUE 49•17 • Apr 23, 2013

BOSTON—In a CNN segment titled “The Healing Power of Sports,” a visibly angered Wolf Blitzer reportedly decked a Boston man Sunday who claimed that ...