Summer music
Jay-Z: 'On Second Thought, I Like Orlando More'
ORLANDO, FL—Though known for his personal homages to New York City in songs such as "Brooklyn's Finest" and "Empire State of Mind," hip-hop...
DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico
The DEA says Lil Wayne is an indispensable weapon against Mexican drug cartels having eradicated 40 tons of marijuana alone by smoking it himself.
Man Who Enjoys Popular Rock Songs Discovers Perfect Radio Station
ROCHESTER, NY—Sean Ridgeway, a 36-year-old carpenter who is fond of popular rock 'n' roll music from the late 1960s to the present, told...
Ominous Music Heard Throughout U.S. Sends Nation Into Panic
Government officials have not determined the source of the music or what it could portend, but they urge Americans to avoid deserted mansions, woods, and ...
Newly Discovered Recordings Reveal Beatles Actually Terrible Group
LONDON—Just days after the discovery of several previously unreleased Beatles recordings in the attic of Abbey Road Studios, fans and...
World's Oldest Musical Instrument Discovered
Last month, the journal Nature reported that archaeologists had discovered the world's oldest known musical instrument, a 35,000-year-old...
Radiohead Denies Influencing Local Band
DAYTON, OH—"Just because you use a vocoder doesn't make you a fearless pioneer of post-punk techno-rock," explained Radiohead producer Nigel Greenwood.
Concert Security Guard Would Willingly Give His Life To Protect Coldplay
CHULA VISTA, CA—Twenty-four-year-old security guard Ian Moran told reporters Tuesday that he would gladly lay down his life to protect the...
Concerts Held To Wish World's Poor Good Luck
ROME—More than 40 artists, including U2, Death Cab for Cutie, Rihanna, and Rage Against the Machine, performed at six simultaneous concerts...

















