STRENGTHS: Somehow pull off rooting for a team that always wins without coming off like Patriots fans; good at waving things, spinning things; best fans ...

STRENGTHS: Summoned the hypocrisy necessary to trade Santonio Holmes for pot infraction but keep Ben Roethlisberger; can manage and motivate an entire 40-man roster of ...

STRENGTHS: So good, only needs to play 75 percent of season to be named Defensive Player of the Year; eight-year veteran at strong safety, but ...

STRENGTHS: Has given NFL $3 million in fine money prior to game so he can feel free to tackle helmet-first anytime he wants, which shows ...

STRENGTHS: One of the most agreeable assholes in the game; block on Keith Rivers received harsh critical reviews but grossed $12.5 million worldwide; great ...

STRENGTHS: Defensive ends and blitzing linebackers have trouble getting a grasp on his misshapen head; remarkable ability to avoid tacklers, prosecution; because his offensive line ...

With Super Bowl XLV upon us, Onion Sports has assembled this guide to each team's top players, coaches, and fans to help you answer ...

ARLINGTON, TX—Over the past two weeks, sources close to the NFL have confirmed Steelers, Packers.

ARLINGTON, TX—As the Super Bowl approaches, veterans returning to football's most high-pressure event have been doing their best to prepare their teammates for ...

PITTSBURGH—The Steelers' Rashard Mendenhall has been stranded in a neighboring space-time continuum after particularly solid blocking by guard Ramon Foster and tackle Flozell Adams ...

Ben Roethlisberger is returning to football after an NFL-imposed four-game ban. Here's how he spent his time off.

GREEN BAY, WI—Bills players were reportedly impressed by the quality of toilet paper in the visitors' locker room at Lambeau Field Sunday, enthusiastically admiring ...

Following accusations of sexual assault and his NFL suspension, contrite quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has vowed to mend his ways.

NEW YORK—NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said Wednesday that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger will serve a six-game suspension and must attend mandatory counseling, partially for ...

PITTSBURGH—In the wake of sexual assault allegations made against Ben Roethlisberger by a Georgia college student, nervous Steelers fans across the nation speculated that ...

LOS ANGELES—Though it once stood proud as a majestic and much-celebrated Super Bowl ad—captivating an audience of millions with its...

MIAMI—As the Super Bowl captures the country's attention, excitement over the NFL's championship game is muted somewhat by the persistent question of ...

MIAMI—Giddiness overtook the locker rooms of both Super Bowl teams Thursday when members of the New Orleans Saints and Indianapolis Colts caught wind that ...

Chris Lukawski, a longtime devotee of the Packers and beer, is confident his battered liver and family can handle another NFL season of unrestrained alcohol ...