Supernatural

Loophole In Curse Lets Archaeologist Off The Hook

ISSUE 48•19 | 05.08.12 | News in Brief

CUZCO, PERU—Mystic spirits guarding Sacsayhuamán Archaeological Park acknowledged Tuesday that a loophole in a centuries-old hex had allowed archaeologist Brian Bauer to violate the site's subterranean catacombs without being cursed. ... more»
Janis Joplin's Spirit Found Dead Of Another Drug Overdose

ISSUE 44•39 | 09.25.08 | Radio News
EPA Shuts Down Local Ghost-Entrapment Business

ISSUE 44•38 | 09.20.08 | News

NEW YORK—Some believe the arrests were personally motivated, possibly due to a previous altercation with former parapsychology researcher Dr. Peter Venkman. more»
Monster Got Tina

ISSUE 44•33 | 08.15.08 | News in Brief

OKEECHOBEE SWAMPS, FL—According to sources, the monster got Tina, 18, despite her having been right behind the other remaining survivors... more»
Mob Not Angry At Monster, Just Disappointed

ISSUE 44•30 | 07.26.08 | News

CEAMURLIA, ROMANIA—"We can't help him unless he helps himself," said a villager. "Right now, all he seems to want to do is hang out and drown small children." more»
Realtors Blame Housing Market For Slump In Creepy-Mansion Sales

ISSUE 44•24 | 06.13.08 | News

ENCANTO, CA—"Even if a family's willing to share a garage with the spectral figure hanging from its rafters, they still might not get a mortgage," said one broker. more»
Time Traveler: Everyone In The Future Eats Dippin' Dots

ISSUE 44•13 | 03.26.08 | News

NEW YORK—"What is this melting dessert of churned animal's milk?" said the man, who came from a future world where Dippin' Dots is the sole ice cream for sale. more»
Rove Resigns To Spend More Time In Shadows

ISSUE 43•51 | 12.20.07 | News

Rove claimed he never felt comfortable operating within the visible light spectrum more»
Most Items At Garage Sale Haunted

ISSUE 43•44 | 11.01.07 | News in Brief

CARBONDALE, PA—According to area bargain hunters, the majority of the dusty, cobweb-covered items at local resident Kelly Moore's garage... more»
Why Is It That My Girlfriend Insists On Sticking Around While I Transform Into A Werewolf?

ISSUE 43•41 | 10.10.07 | Commentary

There are some things a man should do alone. Watch the game. Go out for a drink with the guys. Grapple with his inner self as the milky blue light... more»
New Heart Device Allows Cheney To Experience Love

ISSUE 43•40 | 10.03.07 | News

WASHINGTON, DC —"He broke free from the straps that secured him to the bed as he normally does after heart surgery. But then he hugged me," Cheney's cardiologist said. more»
Nameless Hurricane That Much More Terrifying

ISSUE 44•27 ISSUE 43•36 | 09.03.07 | News

MIAMI—Thousands have already fled the popularly dubbed "Hurricane That Shall Not Be Named," to escape its destructive winds and chilling impersonality. more»
This Monster Problem Is Distracting This Town From The Real Issues

ISSUE 43•35 | 08.29.07 | Commentary

People, people, people! Put down your torches for a second. I know you're all angry that, after days of bloody and terrifying rampage, the monster... more»
Tom Glavine Ominously Announces He Will Be Last 300-Game Winner

ISSUE 43•52 ISSUE 43•32 | 08.09.07 | Sports News in Brief

CHICAGO—Moments after the last out in his historic 300th pitching win, Mets ace Tom Glavine silenced a crowd of well-wishers by announcing... more»
Mars: Might It Be Haunted?

ISSUE 43•29 | 07.20.07 | Sunday Magazine
Nation's Wood Nymphs Unveil Plan To Reduce Dependance On Foreign Dew Drops

ISSUE 43•21 | 05.22.07 | Radio News
Dept. Of Evil: 'All Of You Must Die'

ISSUE 43•20 | 05.14.07 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—The department warned that all necks would feel the steely bite of its soul-thirsty axe as soon as funding is approved. more»
Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel Or Something To That Effect

ISSUE 43•18 | 05.02.07 | Commentary

Excuse me, beautiful, mind if I stand next to you and do some talking? I don't mean to intrude, but I couldn't help but notice that you were... more»
Specters Of Dental Hygienists Past Haunt Convention Center

ISSUE 43•10 | 03.09.07 | News

SPOKANE, WA—"Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a woman in a pastel outfit, but when I turned to look at her, she was gone," hotel guest Linda Matthie said. more»
Haitian Parents Couldn't Be Prouder Of Witch-Doctor Son

ISSUE 43•05 | 01.31.07 | Radio News
Trent Lott Smashes Through Senate Wall

ISSUE 43•01 | 01.08.07 | Radio News
Ashcroft Rejected By Newly Created Bride Of Ashcroft

ISSUE 43•01 | 01.01.07 | Radio News
Ghostly Chicken Voice Speaks Of Revenge From Beyond The Grave

ISSUE 42•51 | 12.24.06 | Radio News
Return Letter From Santa Just A String Of Obscenities Directed At Elves

ISSUE 42•50 | 12.15.06 | Radio News
Ho, Ho, Ho! I Saw You Masturbating!

ISSUE 42•50 | 12.12.06 | News

"And it wasn't just once either, my wee friend! Oh, what a naughty, prolific rascal you've been! Ho, ho, ho!" more»
Egyptian Conservationists Fight To Protect Dwindling Mummy Population

ISSUE 42•50 | 12.08.06 | News

CAIRO—The number of undead Egyptian princes roaming the desert has diminished from 12,000 in 1970 to just 300 today. more»
Area Man Never Leaves House Without Putting On Lucky Everything

ISSUE 42•48 | 11.28.06 | News in Brief

BOISE, ID—Area resident Tom Watson, 32, told coworkers yesterday that he never leaves his house without putting on his lucky hat, jacket,... more»
I Was Placed On This Earth To Put Off Doing Something Extraordinary

ISSUE 42•47 | 11.22.06 | Commentary

Ever since I was born three weeks overdue, it was clear that there was something different about me. However, it wasn't until I postponed going... more»
Pope Benedict XVI Haunted By 15 Previous Benedicts

ISSUE 42•41 | 10.17.06 | Radio News
Lazy Satanist Summons Demon To Walk His Dog

ISSUE 42•40 | 10.10.06 | Radio News

supernatural

Loophole In Curse Lets Archaeologist Off The Hook

Janis Joplin's Spirit Found Dead Of Another Drug Overdose

EPA Shuts Down Local Ghost-Entrapment Business

Monster Got Tina

Mob Not Angry At Monster, Just Disappointed

Realtors Blame Housing Market For Slump In Creepy-Mansion Sales

Time Traveler: Everyone In The Future Eats Dippin' Dots

Rove Resigns To Spend More Time In Shadows

Most Items At Garage Sale Haunted

Why Is It That My Girlfriend Insists On Sticking Around While I Transform Into A Werewolf?

New Heart Device Allows Cheney To Experience Love

Nameless Hurricane That Much More Terrifying

This Monster Problem Is Distracting This Town From The Real Issues

Tom Glavine Ominously Announces He Will Be Last 300-Game Winner

Mars: Might It Be Haunted?

Nation's Wood Nymphs Unveil Plan To Reduce Dependance On Foreign Dew Drops

Dept. Of Evil: 'All Of You Must Die'

Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel Or Something To That Effect

Specters Of Dental Hygienists Past Haunt Convention Center

Haitian Parents Couldn't Be Prouder Of Witch-Doctor Son

Trent Lott Smashes Through Senate Wall

Ashcroft Rejected By Newly Created Bride Of Ashcroft

Ghostly Chicken Voice Speaks Of Revenge From Beyond The Grave

Return Letter From Santa Just A String Of Obscenities Directed At Elves

Ho, Ho, Ho! I Saw You Masturbating!

Egyptian Conservationists Fight To Protect Dwindling Mummy Population

Area Man Never Leaves House Without Putting On Lucky Everything

I Was Placed On This Earth To Put Off Doing Something Extraordinary

Pope Benedict XVI Haunted By 15 Previous Benedicts

Lazy Satanist Summons Demon To Walk His Dog

American Voices »

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan