Television
American Idol Winner Already Complaining About Pressures Of Fame
NEW YORK—Kelly Clarkson, the winner of Fox's American Idol, griped about the pressures of her weeks-old celebrity Monday during an appearance on Live ...
Teen Humiliated By Activist Mom
AUSTIN, TX—Roberta Asher, 47, a longtime crusader for environmental and human-rights causes, once again humiliated her teenage son Monday when she appeared on the ...
Report: Al-Qaeda Allegedly Engaging In Telemarketing
WASHINGTON, DC—In a chilling development, the CIA announced Monday that it has acquired a videotape showing suspected al-Qaeda operatives engaging in what appears to ...
Woman Thinks She Would Make A Great Talk-Show Host
CREVE COEUR, MO—Suzanne Bergtraum believes she would make an excellent host of a daytime-TV talk show, the 42-year-old podiatry-office receptionist disclosed Tuesday. "I'm ...
Man Trying To Remember How That Music They Used To Play Before HBO Movies Went
ALBANY, NY— Local resident Clint Fuster, 33, struggled to remember the old "HBO Feature Presentation" theme music from the '80s Monday. "They had that thing ...
CNN Graphic Designer Asked To Combine Dollar Sign, Syringe, Fighter Jets, Panda
ATLANTA—Christine Kannberg, a CNN Headline News graphic designer, expressed befuddlement Monday when asked to create a story logo incorporating a dollar sign, a syringe ...
TV Guide Channel Tops Nielsens
LOS ANGELES— For the 11th straight week, the TV Guide Channel topped the Nielsen
ratings, scoring blockbuster numbers in virtually all time slots and days ...
Area Man Disappointed To See Short Version Of Commercial
CLEWISTON, FL—A truncated version of a Nike commercial disappointed local resident Paul Hobish Tuesday.
Inexorable March Of Time Brings TV's Jerry Mathers One Step Closer To Death
HOLLYWOOD, CA—The inexorable march of time has brought Leave It To Beaver star Jerry Mathers—and all of us—one step closer to the ...
Four Generations Of Americans Demand Sitcom Reparations
WASHINGTON, DC—Pressure is building for the nation’s TV networks to offer a formal apology and reparations to four generations of Americans.
Department Of Libel: Drew Carey Killed A Guy And Paid To Cover It Up
WASHINGTON, DC–According to a report released Monday by the U.S. Department of Libel, comedian and TV star Drew Carey killed a guy back ...
Lowest Common Denominator Continues To Plummet
WASHINGTON, DC–The lowest common denominator (LCD), the leading cultural indicator for American mass-market tastes, continued its precipitous drop last week, fueling worries about the ...
















