Terrorist Has No Idea What To Do With All This Plutonium
ZAHEDAN, IRAN—Yaquub Akhtar said the only thing his confusing weapons of mass destruction are destroying is his ability to kill infidels.
Terrorism
Trick-Or-Treaters To Be Subject To Random Bag Searches
WASHINGTON, DC—Responding to "a possible threat of terror and fright," Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff announced Monday that trick-or-treaters will be subject ...
Suicide Bomber Killed En Route By Car Bomb
BAGHDAD—Terrorist cells in Baghdad are in mourning for suicide bomber Ahmed al-Khalaf, 19, who was killed by a car bomb Monday, 200 yards from ...
Local Fox Affiliate Debuts Terror-Alert Van
MURFREESBORO, TN—Touting itself as "the only channel with a terror-alert system designed to meet the specific needs of central Tennessee," Fox News affiliate WMFB-TV ...
Russia Reiterates Zero-Tolerance Policy For Terrorists, Hostages
MOSCOW (Sept. 3)—In response to the ongoing hostage situation at a middle school in the town of Beslan in North Ossetia, Russian Prime Minister ...
Iraq Adopts Terror Alert System
BAGHDAD—The Iraqi Department of Homeland Security recently released a 10-level, color-coded homeland security advisory system that will alert citizens to the risk of a ...
U.S. To Fight Terror With Terror
WASHINGTON, DC—In a response to recent acts of extreme violence against Americans in Iraq and mounting criticism of U.S. military policy at home ...
Department Of Homeland Security Deputizes Real Mean Dog
WASHINGTON, DC—Unveiling its newest weapon in the fight against terrorism Monday, the Department of Homeland Security announced the deputization of Rufus, a big ol ...
Terrorism Storylines Being Added To TV Shows As Quickly As They Were Dropped
LOS ANGELES—Less than two months after frantically excising any allusions to terrorism, network executives are scrambling to add terror-related storylines to TV shows, sources ...
Tom Clancy Treated Like He's Some Kind Of Terrorism Expert
WASHINGTON, DC— Tom Clancy, bestselling author of such military thrillers as The Hunt For Red October and Patriot Games, is being treated like an actual ...
Report: Most Terrorists Do Not Start The Day Off With A Good Breakfast
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND–In a report that is prompting some to rethink the causes of terrorism, the World Health Organization announced Monday that a startling 96 ...
Terrorist Bomb Not Defused In Thrilling, Suspense-Packed Final Minutes
LONDON—An action-packed chase through the subway tunnels beneath London's famed Victoria Station, culminating in a climactic, pulse-pounding fight sequence atop a speeding double-decker ...
