Lucky Old Woman Getting Wheeled Around Airport
DENVER—Travelers at the Denver International Airport looked on in envy Thursday at a very lucky elderly woman, who, since her arrival, has been greeted ...
Transportation
Nation Gathers Around Area Man Trying To Parallel Park
PHILADELPHIA—According to reports, the nation’s entire population gathered around and looked on with concern Thursday as 28-year-old Erik Olsen attempted to parallel park ...
Report: Texting While Driving Okay If You Look Up Every Couple Seconds
WASHINGTON—A new report published Monday by the National Transportation Safety Board advises motorists that sending text messages while driving “is totally fine” and “not ...
Ray LaHood Resigns Following Mysterious Disappearance Of Country Road
WASHINGTON—Secretary of Transportation Ray LaHood announced his resignation from the Obama Administration earlier this morning following his alleged involvement in the recent disappearance of ...
I-95 Diagnosed With Highway Cancer
NEW HAVEN, CT—Road oncologists at Yale-New Haven Hospital held a press conference Tuesday to announce that Interstate 95, the main conduit running along the ...
Secretary Of Transportation Flips Out On Pothole In Baltimore
BALTIMORE—Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood went off on a 22-centimeter-wide, 8-centimeter-deep pothole Wednesday, calling it a "goddamn disgrace" and a "real piece of work that ...
The Sinking Of The Titanic: 100 Years Later
Last week marked the centennial of the historic sinking of the Titanic on its maiden voyage from Southampton, England, to New York. Here's how ...
142 Plane Crash Victims Were Statistically More Likely To Have Died In A Car Crash
WASHINGTON—Following last week's deadly crash of United Airlines flight 9753, which claimed the lives of 137 passengers and five crew members, the National ...
Study: Only 4 Scenic Routes Left In Country
WASHINGTON—The Department of Transportation released the findings of a new study Thursday indicating that in the entire continental United States, only four scenic routes ...
Town Still Can't Think Of Name For Largest, Most Used Street
EDGAR, NE—Residents of the small town of Edgar have yet to come up with a fitting name for the tiny village's most highly ...
Murder Mystery On Train Not So Fun In Real Life
TOMAH, WI—"I thought this thing was supposed to slowly unfold, not drag on forever in some middle-of-nowhere cornfield," complained one bleary-eyed passenger.
5-Million-Car Pileup Kills Dallas-Fort Worth
DALLAS—The Texas Highway Patrol announced that Dallas and Fort Worth, the state's largest metropolitan area, was killed instantly during...
New Sealy Mattress Recreates Feeling Of Falling Asleep On Bus
TRINITY, NC—Sealy, the company known for providing innovative sleep technology with its Posturepedic, TrueForm, and SpringFree mattresses,...
117-Aerocar Pileup Clogs Troposphere For Hours
BOSTON—Travelers on Interspace 92 experienced delays of up to three hours after 117 aerocars were involved in a tropospheric pileup Monday. "We traced the ...
Improving Amtrak
Following last week's announcement that an entire fleet of Acela trains will be taken out of service for repairs, Amtrak is looking for ways ...
