After over seven years of weekly meetings with his psychiatrist, 35-year-old Chris Vaughan told reporters Friday he is thrilled to be just two 45-minute sessions ...

According to locals waiting for the westbound number 66 shuttle at Chicago Avenue and Racine Avenue, a young man and woman seated on a bench ...

The amazing new "Relationship Pro" video game controller lets both members of a couple pretend they are in a healthy relationship.

Watch an all new episode of Today NOW! this Thursday exclusively at theonion.com.

Expressing shame and remorse in an email to the students of Hamilton College on Friday, disgraced student affairs coordinator Jessica Li, 20, regretfully informed undergraduates ...

On Today NOW!, the savvy businessman who turned a zoo on the verge of bankruptcy into a money-making machine shares management tips with Jim and ...

Saying that he’s probably done all he could possibly do at this point, Twitter user Aaron Gartner confirmed Tuesday that after posting 10,000 ...

The pregnant starlet has finished reading her long-awaited first book and is currently traveling the country to promote the John Grisham thriller to her fans.

CERN researchers confirm that they have finally identified the elusive Higgs Boson particle and destroyed it forever.

In a stern warning aimed at critics of Mazdas everywhere, area man Matthew Hunker, a longtime Mazda driver with two Mazdas in his garage at ...

Federal, state, and local law enforcement officials are reportedly on high alert today after a group of dangerous sociopaths entered the chambers of Congress, posing ...

Congressman Ryan is defending his extreme budget plan, which includes proposals that Americans make their own toothpaste and cut their own hair, just like he ...

The latest viral sensation erupted across YouTube today as a recently uploaded video featuring a solitary man softly weeping into his palms garnered over 50 ...

The word 'innovate' is said over 24 million times at SXSW, NASA designers release a flirty new spaceskirt, and the next episode of 'Girls' to ...

Calling his résumé "exceptional," the human resources department at local public relations firm Brink & Tiller called 22-year-old job applicant Corey Wilhelm immediately. Full Story

Jim and Tracy meet the incredible ballet prodigy who choreographed an entire desperate plea for her father's attention all on her own.

The Catholic world was rocked today as 76-year-old Pope Francis I announced plans to step down at the end of the month.

Court officials complain that it’s too difficult to keep track of every massacre and that recalling one from all the way back in July ...

Cancer topples Chavez in a bloodless coup, a poll finds that 99% of human beings would prefer big, slobbery hound dog pope, and Andrea Bocelli ...

The fast-food chain has rolled out a suspicious new promotion selling five hamburgers for zero dollars.