UMass Dartmouth is beginning to regret offering a course in Applied Domestic Terrorism, a social media rockstar makes $28,000 a year, and Miami Dolphins ...

Widely regarded as one of the online world’s brightest personalities, sources confirmed Friday that famed 28-year-old social media rock star Ryan Wasserman, better known ...

The above is a 2008 PSA issued by the Department of Health and Human Services in support of the “Fuck Your Brains Out” sex education ...

A study finds that wolf attacks are still the leading cause of death in America, a man says 'fuck it' and eats lunch and 10 ...

A report published Friday by a team of sociologists has confirmed there are apparently people living in the world today who are deeply concerned about ...

Watch Onion News Empire, Episode 1 now.

Next week's school shooting victims thank the members of Senate for failing to pass the gun bill, the cutest guy in an office is ...

Ryan Jurgens rode the bench most of the season, but when his coach gave him a chance, it really paid off!

Saying that he’s “okay-looking but definitely nothing special,” employees at Southeastern Publishing Services reported Wednesday that Brian Tyler, a 27-year-old digital communications coordinator widely ...

After over seven years of weekly meetings with his psychiatrist, 35-year-old Chris Vaughan told reporters Friday he is thrilled to be just two 45-minute sessions ...

According to locals waiting for the westbound number 66 shuttle at Chicago Avenue and Racine Avenue, a young man and woman seated on a bench ...

The amazing new "Relationship Pro" video game controller lets both members of a couple pretend they are in a healthy relationship.

Watch an all new episode of Today NOW! this Thursday exclusively at theonion.com.

Expressing shame and remorse in an email to the students of Hamilton College on Friday, disgraced student affairs coordinator Jessica Li, 20, regretfully informed undergraduates ...

On Today NOW!, the savvy businessman who turned a zoo on the verge of bankruptcy into a money-making machine shares management tips with Jim and ...

Saying that he’s probably done all he could possibly do at this point, Twitter user Aaron Gartner confirmed Tuesday that after posting 10,000 ...

The pregnant starlet has finished reading her long-awaited first book and is currently traveling the country to promote the John Grisham thriller to her fans.

CERN researchers confirm that they have finally identified the elusive Higgs Boson particle and destroyed it forever.

In a stern warning aimed at critics of Mazdas everywhere, area man Matthew Hunker, a longtime Mazda driver with two Mazdas in his garage at ...

Federal, state, and local law enforcement officials are reportedly on high alert today after a group of dangerous sociopaths entered the chambers of Congress, posing ...