Federal, state, and local law enforcement officials are reportedly on high alert today after a group of dangerous sociopaths entered the chambers of Congress, posing ...

Congressman Ryan is defending his extreme budget plan, which includes proposals that Americans make their own toothpaste and cut their own hair, just like he ...

The latest viral sensation erupted across YouTube today as a recently uploaded video featuring a solitary man softly weeping into his palms garnered over 50 ...

The word 'innovate' is said over 24 million times at SXSW, NASA designers release a flirty new spaceskirt, and the next episode of 'Girls' to ...

Calling his résumé "exceptional," the human resources department at local public relations firm Brink & Tiller called 22-year-old job applicant Corey Wilhelm immediately. Full Story

Jim and Tracy meet the incredible ballet prodigy who choreographed an entire desperate plea for her father's attention all on her own.

The Catholic world was rocked today as 76-year-old Pope Francis I announced plans to step down at the end of the month.

Court officials complain that it’s too difficult to keep track of every massacre and that recalling one from all the way back in July ...

Cancer topples Chavez in a bloodless coup, a poll finds that 99% of human beings would prefer big, slobbery hound dog pope, and Andrea Bocelli ...

The fast-food chain has rolled out a suspicious new promotion selling five hamburgers for zero dollars.

When tragedy struck Kansas City today, Onion reporters were first on the scene. This is a video recap of our coverage of the Gunman story ...

The President was forced to exercise his clemency powers to free Joe Biden last week after the Vice President called the White House at 3 ...

An online listing for a job at area marketing firm BizKo Solutions has left local man Ryan Urlich unsure whether he is truly dynamic enough ...

In his first televised interview since the election, Mitt Romney said his bid for the White House was doomed by his ability to effectively and ...

Experts are blaming Girls Gone Wild’s recent bankruptcy on the company’s business model of employing their hot, horny coeds full time.

A report finds Chinese third-graders are falling behind U.S. high school students in math and science, a nostalgic warden has seen 3 generations of ...

Video-streaming service Netflix reportedly checked in on local customer Shane Fowler late Tuesday after a marathon viewing session in which the 31-year-old watched the entire ...

The Divine Creator of All Things addressed a throng of dedicated fans on his troubled working relationship with the former Pope.

Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood is being proactive in the face of his department's potential budget cuts by scouring the country for road signs, traffic ...

Casting a sentimental eye over his long career at the California Institution for Men, prison warden Kenneth Luger, 65, told reporters Thursday he will always ...