The sudden drop in demand for "Buck Fush" T-shirts and "Hail to the Chimp" posters could leave millions unemployed.
After comprehending the capricious nature of fate, the Jaguars could not go through with the charade of playing a meaningless football game.
On Today Now! paranormal detective Leonard Higgs explains that using ghosts to solve crimes actually involves a lot of paperwork.
Experts predict that Joad Cressbeckler could tip the election to Obama by attracting people who want to vote for the most crotchety candidate possible.
Overjoyed civil rights leaders say that Barack Obama has paved the way for future black politicians to be smeared as country club snobs.
Texas residents are relieved that the deadly Category 5 storm just missed them, destroying a horn-shaped land mass south of them instead.
Residents took part in rituals like picking through the charred remains of their homes and feigning shock that this could happen to them.
A recent election poll indicates vegan independents and skydiving widowers are among the groups that will have a major impact in November.
Mission specialist Robert Barrett first became suspicious when he noticed most of his tasks involved measuring his waist and eating cookie dough.
The Chinese government explained that the fatal disease is caused by the excitement of the Olympics, not infected birds, as was previously reported.
Cosmo scientists have finally cataloged every single way to satisfy your man's carnal cravings by stimulating his secret sex zones.
The spokesdrone will field questions deemed too dangerous for a human press secretary, whose career could be irreparably damaged by answering them.
'In The Know' Panelists discuss whether our athletes will be able to escape from the bamboo cages the Chinese government will try to imprison them...
Organizations hope to make youth see importance of getting prime parking spaces or a new desk lamp.
Today Now! shares a delicious omelet recipe you can make at home with just a few simple and surreal ingredients.
Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food.
Pausing only to eat, the West Highland white terrier yips and yelps 24 hours a day, according to neighbors.
Both candidates are stepping up their efforts to attract crucial 'no values voters' by abusing animals and murdering the elderly.
Before a new program to combat crystal meth can be put into place, Congress has to make sure it has a really awesome name
The threat of nuclear war hangs over the region with no end in sight, just as it has for the past three decades.