Womens Sports And Soccer

Friend Lives Strange Other Life As Manchester United Fan

ISSUE 47•37 | 09.14.11 | Sports News in Brief

BOSTON—According to resident Mike Donnick, his friend and roommate Ben Manton lives a bizarre parallel life as a fan of the U.K. more»
Soccer Player In Blue Shirt Happy

ISSUE 47•31 | 08.02.11 | Sports News in Brief

SOUTH AMERICA?—Following what must have been a successful on-field achievement Sunday, a professional, semi-professional, or possibly amateur male soccer player wearing a sky-blue shirt appeared happy, sources confirmed. more»
Hope Solo

ISSUE 47•29 | 07.15.11 | Strongside/Weakside

American sports fans are falling in love with the goalkeeper of the U.S. women’s national soccer team, at least partially because of her performance against Brazil in the World Cup. more»
U.S. Women’s Soccer Team Better Not Fucking Blow It

ISSUE 47•29 | 07.15.11 | Sports News in Brief

MÖNCHENGLADBACH, GERMANY—In light of the enormous momentum and goodwill they are carrying with them into the Women's World Cup final in Frankfurt this Sunday, sources confirmed the U.S. more»
Members Of U.S. Women’s Soccer Team Love Each Other Like Sisters And All That Shit

ISSUE 47•24 | 06.13.11 | Sports News in Brief

HARRISON, NJ—Following a 1-0 victory over Mexico last Sunday, representatives from the U.S. women’s soccer team said all that touchy-feely garbage they usually say about how much they love each other and how the whole team is like one big fami... more»
2010 MLS Cup

ISSUE 46•46 | 11.19.10 | Keys To The Matchup

FC Dallas, a soccer team, will face the Colorado Rapids, a soccer team, in Toronto for this year's MLS Cup, a soccer championship. Here's how the match breaks down: more»
South Africa Realizes All Its Things Were Stolen During World Cup

ISSUE 46•51 ISSUE 46•28 | 07.19.10 | Sports News in Brief

JOHANNESBURG—Although the nation is receiving positive reviews of its job hosting the 2010 FIFA World Cup, South Africa was shocked to discover Monday that most of its belongings had been robbed while the nation was distracted by the month of soccer... more»
Highlights Of The 2010 World Cup

ISSUE 46•28 | 07.16.10 | Sportsgraphic

The World Cup is over, Spain has been crowned champion, and we reflect on what made the whole tournament worthwhile. more»
Italy's Simone Pepe Performs World Cup's First-Ever Tricycle Kick

ISSUE 46•51 | 06.25.10 | Photo Finish
South African Vuvuzela Philharmonic Angered By Soccer Games Breaking Out During Concerts

ISSUE 46•51 ISSUE 46•24 | 06.17.10 | Sports News

JOHANNESBURG—Members of the South Africa Vuvuzela Philharmonic Orchestra, widely considered to be among the best large-scale monotonic wind instrument ensembles in the world, told reporters Friday they were furious over the recent outbreaks of inter... more»
Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay

ISSUE 46•24 | 06.14.10 | OSN Video Vault

Plagued for years by swirling rumors about its sexuality, soccer has finally come out, becoming the world's first openly gay sport. more»
Nike, Adidas Favorites In World Cup Final

ISSUE 46•23 | 06.14.10 | Sports News in Brief

JOHANNESBURG—As the first round of World Cup matches conclude, analysts have said that despite several dramatic and valiant displays from underdogs, traditional soccer juggernauts Nike and Adidas are still the favorites to reach the World Cup final. more»
Somali Pirates Make Off With Moses Mabhida Stadium

ISSUE 46•23 | 06.12.10 | Sports News in Brief

DURBAN, SOUTH AFRICA—Several World Cup matches will be rescheduled following the Friday afternoon theft of Moses Mabhida Stadium by Somali pirates, who used chains attached to a makeshift flotilla of armed skiffs to tow the arena through Durban Bay ... more»
Landon Donovan

ISSUE 46•23 | 06.11.10 | Strongside/Weakside

Donovan is the heart, soul, brains, and pretty much the whole right flank of the U.S. World Cup team. Is he any good? more»
2010 World Cup Teams To Watch

ISSUE 46•23 | 06.11.10 | Sportsgraphic

While Brazil and Argentina seem to grab all the attention, the field is as interesting as it is deep. Onion Sports points out the keys for each national side. more»
The Onion Sports Introduction To World Cup Soccer

ISSUE 46•23 | 06.11.10 | Interactive Feature Large

The 2010 FIFA World Cup is underway and millions have been swept up in an unfamiliar sport. Because there's so much more to the game than not using one's hands, Onion Sports presents an interactive visual guide for the new soccer fan. more»
World Cup Organizers Suddenly Realize They Made Ball 500 Times Too Large

ISSUE 46•22 | 06.04.10 | Photo Finish
Nation's Soccer Fan Becoming Insufferable

ISSUE 46•51 ISSUE 46•22 | 06.04.10 | Sports News

WILMINGTON, DE—As the 2010 World Cup approaches, friends, family, and coworkers of 32-year-old Brad Janovich are growing less tolerant of the exuberant behavior of the United States' lone soccer fan. "Who's got World Cup fever?" Janovich a... more»
On Growing Enthusiasm For The 2010 World Cup

ISSUE 46•18 | 05.07.10 | Fan On The Street
Pilgrims Depart For America To Escape Horrible Oppression Of Soccer

ISSUE 45•51 | 12.15.09 | Sports News in Brief

On Sept. 16, 1620, a group of Puritan Separatists took to the sea in hopes of escaping persecution from soccer and its ardent followers, specifically those who would not allow the Pilgrims to live a life in which they could openly reject traditional soccer practices. more»
WNBA Franchise Moving To Tulsa Sounds About Right

ISSUE 45•43 | 10.27.09 | Sports News in Brief

DETROIT—A recent announcement that the WNBA's Detroit Shock would be moving to Tulsa, OK next season seemed pretty much in line with what one would expect from the women's professional basketball league, observers told reporters Sunday. more»
Women's Gymnastics: The New Baseball?

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.20.09 | Sports News in Brief

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA—As baseball continues to die a slow, strangled death across the country, many are correctly wondering if women's... more»
Team USA's World Cup Stumbles

ISSUE 45•27 | 06.18.09 | Sportsgraphic

As qualifying rages on, we look at Team USA's hapless World Cup history. 1891 and 1895: United States athletes... more»
FIFA Player Of The Year Ronaldo Almost Forgets To Thank His Feet

ISSUE 45•03 | 01.15.09 | Sports News in Brief

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND—Upon receiving the FIFA World Player of the Year award Monday, Manchester United winger Cristiano Ronaldo thanked his... more»
Seattle's Disastrous Sports Year Continues With Addition Of Major League Soccer Team

ISSUE 44•52 ISSUE 44•51 ISSUE 44•49 | 12.04.08 | Sports News in Brief

SEATTLE—After witnessing its baseball team finish in last place, its NFL team break its streak of five straight playoff appearances, and its... more»
Breast Cancer Launches WNBA Awareness Month

ISSUE 44•40 | 10.02.08 | Sports News

NEW YORK— Leading representatives of the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation announced Wednesday that the month of October would officially be known as WNBA Awareness Month, and commemorated the occasion by donating $80 million of their... more»
Thought Of Cross-Dressing, Joining LPGA Briefly Crosses David Duval's Mind

ISSUE 44•26 ISSUE 43•34 | 08.23.07 | Sports News in Brief

DENVER, CO—Though he is currently taking a brief sabbatical from golf to spend time with his family, David Duval once again entertained... more»
Beckham An Inspiration To Children Who Never Get Put In Game

ISSUE 43•32 | 08.09.07 | Sports News in Brief

LOS ANGELES—Whether intently watching the on-field action or waving to his family in the stands, David Beckham's impressive display of... more»
WNBA Apparently Giving It Another Shot

ISSUE 43•21 | 05.24.07 | Sports News in Brief

SACRAMENTO—Sports fans nationwide reported feelings of surprise, amusement, and grudging admiration after discovering that the Detroit Shock... more»
Women In Motorsports

ISSUE 43•52 ISSUE 43•21 | 05.24.07 | Sportsgraphic

In honor of this year's Indy 500, the first to feature three female drivers, Onion Sports looks at some other great moments for women in motorsports history. more»

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