Highlights From David Beckham’s Career
With David Beckham retiring last week, Onion Sports examines notable moments from the soccer player’s illustrious 21-year career.
Womens sports and soccer
Report: People Talking About Soccer, But There’s No World Cup This Year So It Must Be Something Else
NEW YORK—According to a report released Friday, which noted a considerable increase in the number of people talking about soccer throughout the United States ...
Why Women's Professional Soccer Failed in the U.S.
With the sad and unnecessary death of Women's Professional Soccer last week, there is no longer a professional standalone women's soccer league in ...
Friend Lives Strange Other Life As Manchester United Fan
BOSTON—According to resident Mike Donnick, his friend and roommate Ben Manton lives a bizarre parallel life as a fan of the U.K.
Soccer Player In Blue Shirt Happy
SOUTH AMERICA?—Following what must have been a successful on-field achievement Sunday, a professional, semi-professional, or possibly amateur male soccer player wearing a sky-blue shirt ...
Hope Solo
American sports fans are falling in love with the goalkeeper of the U.S. women’s national soccer team, at least partially because of her ...
U.S. Women’s Soccer Team Better Not Fucking Blow It
MÖNCHENGLADBACH, GERMANY—In light of the enormous momentum and goodwill they are carrying with them into the Women's World Cup final in Frankfurt ...
Members Of U.S. Women’s Soccer Team Love Each Other Like Sisters And All That Shit
HARRISON, NJ—Following a 1-0 victory over Mexico last Sunday, representatives from the U.S. women’s soccer team said all that touchy-feely garbage they ...
2010 MLS Cup
FC Dallas, a soccer team, will face the Colorado Rapids, a soccer team, in Toronto for this year's MLS Cup, a soccer championship. Here ...
South Africa Realizes All Its Things Were Stolen During World Cup
JOHANNESBURG—Although the nation is receiving positive reviews of its job hosting the 2010 FIFA World Cup, South Africa was shocked to discover Monday that ...
Highlights Of The 2010 World Cup
The World Cup is over, Spain has been crowned champion, and we reflect on what made the whole tournament worthwhile.
South African Vuvuzela Philharmonic Angered By Soccer Games Breaking Out During Concerts
JOHANNESBURG—Members of the South Africa Vuvuzela Philharmonic Orchestra, widely considered to be among the best large-scale monotonic wind instrument ensembles in the world, told ...
Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay
Plagued for years by swirling rumors about its sexuality, soccer has finally come out, becoming the world's first openly gay sport.
Nike, Adidas Favorites In World Cup Final
JOHANNESBURG—As the first round of World Cup matches conclude, analysts have said that despite several dramatic and valiant displays from underdogs, traditional soccer juggernauts ...
Somali Pirates Make Off With Moses Mabhida Stadium
DURBAN, SOUTH AFRICA—Several World Cup matches will be rescheduled following the Friday afternoon theft of Moses Mabhida Stadium by Somali pirates, who used chains ...
Landon Donovan
Donovan is the heart, soul, brains, and pretty much the whole right flank of the U.S. World Cup team. Is he any good?
