Ass-Kisser Promoted

News ISSUE 31•18 May 14, 1997
PROVIDENCE, RI—The age-old practice of brown-nosing was rewarded yet again with the promotion of ass-kissing toady Howard MacInnis.

New Magic Word Discovered

News ISSUE 30•12 Oct 29, 1996
WASHINGTON—The U.S. Department of Spells and Incantations announced Monday the discovery of a new magical word. "Fringle-Stumpf," when spoken clearly by a person ...