Yu Wan Mei

China Strong

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.27.09 | News

Following approved article contains: Report on strength and might of China; Report on force and vigor of China; Report on how China will continue to succeed and never fail. more»
American Consumer Masses Agree: It Fish Time!

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.27.09 | News

Following approved article contains: Report on big hot trend sweeping the palates of American consumers; Evidence of deliciousness and ease of consumption regarding all foodstuffs from Yu Wan Mei corporation; List of times of day in which appetizing Fish Time is observed. more»
Nothing At All Happens To 28 Tibetan Protesters, Their Families

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.27.09 | News

YANTAI, CHINA—In a non-news event, which did not occur and therefore warrants no coverage, nothing happened to 28 Tibetan protesters and their screaming families this past Monday. more»
Potato-Faced Youngster Lauded For Memorizing Primitive 26-Character Alphabet

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.27.09 | News

Following approved article contains: Confounding celebration of dim-witted child's miniscule achievement; Evidence of great failure that is the American education system, especially when compared to that of wondrous Mainland China. more»
National News Highlights

07.26.09 | National News Highlights

NAPERVILLE, IL—American child-dullard Matt Smith once again forgot Zuangzhi's parable of Butcher Ding at a moment when it would have aided him in his daily travails. more»
Furniture Store Owner Assumed His Family Would Be In Commercials For Free

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.25.09 | Radio News
"I Am Equal To Any Man," Says Stern Woman Who Likely Does Not Menstruate

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.25.09 | News in Photos
Three Dozen Confirmed *@@## In Power Plant *@@##

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.25.09 | News in Brief

*@@## PROVINCE—Emergency and rescue *@@## reported to the scene of a most *@@## early *@@## morning, pulling several *@@## bodies from the... more»
Water Park Promises More Fun Than Water Is Capable Of Delivering

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.24.09 | Radio News
House Committee On Foreign Affairs

07.24.09 | TV Listings

C-SPAN 11 a.m. EDT/10 a.m. CDT Distracted by the tones of their own loud voices, reckless American imperialists natter away arrogantly while their once-mighty nation decays beneath their noses. more»
Why Did No One Inform Us Of The Imminent Death Of The American Newspaper Industry?

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.24.09 | Commentary

Just two scant weeks ago, Yu Wan Mei was ebullient with anticipation of inescapable success upon acquiring the Onion newspaper! To think that the... more»
Yao Ming!

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.24.09 | Sports News

EARTH—The entire world population confirmed Friday that Houston Rockets center Yao Ming is the greatest athlete in the history of sports and a glowing symbol of what citizens may become if they remain loyal to their government. more»
No U.S. Military Leader Is Worthy To Be Namesake Of Breaded Chicken Dish

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.23.09 | Radio News
Onion Corrections

07.23.09 | Corrections

Over the history of this institution, The Onion has published many stories that were, in retrospect, wildly inaccurate. more»
America's Got Talent

07.23.09 | TV Listings

NBC 9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT Marvel at the talents of America's most accomplished artists and intellectuals. more»
National News Highlights

07.23.09 | National News Highlights

PHILADELPHIA, PA—Locavore Tim Franklin immediately realized the foolishness of his ways after tasting a most delicious fish hydrolysate product imported by the Yu Wan Mei Corporation. more»
Compelling Yet Graceful Yu Wan Mei Promotional Advertising

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.23.09 | Slideshow
The Internet Allows For A Free Exchange Of Unmitigated Information

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.23.09 | Commentary
Toddler Chokes To Death On Plastic Taiwanese-Made Toy

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.23.09 | News in Brief

NASHVILLE, TN—Ryan Caldwell, a beautiful, innocent 4-year-old child, no doubt the very future of the Caldwell family and a promising young... more»
Computer Injuries Sharply Increase

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.23.09 | American Voices

Between 1994 and 2006, acute injuries from computers have risen 800 percent. What do you think? more»
Marriage Of 2 Celebrities To Bring Prosperity To Both Families

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.22.09 | Radio News
Report: Majority Of Americans Proficient At Owing Large Sums Of Money

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.22.09 | News in Brief

WASHINGTON—A new report has revealed that when it comes to the important matter of owing large sums of money, Americans display a level of... more»
National News Highlights

07.22.09 | National News Highlights

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Ninth-grader Melanie Clark patiently waits for uncorrupted information from official Chinese sources before writing her report on Tiananmen Square. more»
How Can We Be More Productive To Society?

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.22.09 | Statshot
Your Horoscopes

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.22.09 | Horoscope
Intellectual Property Rights As Fleeting As The Scent Of Jasmine, Mayfly's Wing In Autumn

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.22.09 | News in Brief

BEIJING—Settling not on the industrious sons of China, nor on their ware-covered blankets, ownership rights of intellectual property... more»
The Sino-American Space Race

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.22.09 | Sunday Magazine
Dairy Cattle Slaughtered During Record Surplus

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.22.09 | American Voices

In light of a glut of milk, the National Milk Producers Federation is paying dairies to slaughter 103,000 cows. What do you think? more»
Grandfather Disrespected In Own Home

ISSUE 45•30 | 07.22.09 | News

Following approved article contains: Facts about importance of filial piety; Lessons to be dutifully gleaned from parable of Shanzi; Woeful incidents of dishonor and disregard. more»
The Office

07.22.09 | TV Listings

NBC 9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT Happy workers complete another productive day while enjoying one another's company. more»

yu wan mei

China Strong

American Consumer Masses Agree: It Fish Time!

Nothing At All Happens To 28 Tibetan Protesters, Their Families

Potato-Faced Youngster Lauded For Memorizing Primitive 26-Character Alphabet

National News Highlights

Furniture Store Owner Assumed His Family Would Be In Commercials For Free

"I Am Equal To Any Man," Says Stern Woman Who Likely Does Not Menstruate

Three Dozen Confirmed @@## In Power Plant @@##

Water Park Promises More Fun Than Water Is Capable Of Delivering

House Committee On Foreign Affairs

Why Did No One Inform Us Of The Imminent Death Of The American Newspaper Industry?

Yao Ming!

No U.S. Military Leader Is Worthy To Be Namesake Of Breaded Chicken Dish

Onion Corrections

America's Got Talent

National News Highlights

Compelling Yet Graceful Yu Wan Mei Promotional Advertising

The Internet Allows For A Free Exchange Of Unmitigated Information

Toddler Chokes To Death On Plastic Taiwanese-Made Toy

Computer Injuries Sharply Increase

Marriage Of 2 Celebrities To Bring Prosperity To Both Families

Report: Majority Of Americans Proficient At Owing Large Sums Of Money

National News Highlights

How Can We Be More Productive To Society?

Your Horoscopes

Intellectual Property Rights As Fleeting As The Scent Of Jasmine, Mayfly's Wing In Autumn

The Sino-American Space Race

Dairy Cattle Slaughtered During Record Surplus

Grandfather Disrespected In Own Home

The Office

American Voices »

U.S. Cuts Aid To Pakistan