Following approved article contains: Report on strength and might of China; Report on force and vigor of China; Report on how China will continue to ...

Following approved article contains: Report on big hot trend sweeping the palates of American consumers; Evidence of deliciousness and ease of consumption regarding all foodstuffs ...

YANTAI, CHINA—In a non-news event, which did not occur and therefore warrants no coverage, nothing happened to 28 Tibetan protesters and their screaming families ...

Following approved article contains: Confounding celebration of dim-witted child's miniscule achievement; Evidence of great failure that is the American education system, especially when compared ...

NAPERVILLE, IL—American child-dullard Matt Smith once again forgot Zuangzhi's parable of Butcher Ding at a moment when it would have aided him in ...

*@@## PROVINCE—Emergency and rescue *@@## reported to the scene of a most *@@## early *@@## morning, pulling several *@@## bodies from the...

C-SPAN 11 a.m. EDT/10 a.m. CDT Distracted by the tones of their own loud voices, reckless American imperialists natter away arrogantly while ...

EARTH—The entire world population confirmed Friday that Houston Rockets center Yao Ming is the greatest athlete in the history of sports and a glowing ...

Over the history of this institution, The Onion has published many stories that were, in retrospect, wildly inaccurate.

NBC 9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT Marvel at the talents of America's most accomplished artists and intellectuals.

PHILADELPHIA, PA—Locavore Tim Franklin immediately realized the foolishness of his ways after tasting a most delicious fish hydrolysate product imported by the Yu Wan ...

NASHVILLE, TN—Ryan Caldwell, a beautiful, innocent 4-year-old child, no doubt the very future of the Caldwell family and a promising young...

Between 1994 and 2006, acute injuries from computers have risen 800 percent. What do you think?