Weakling President Asks Imaginary Man In Sky To Bless NationNews in Brief • ISSUE 45•30 • Jul 20, 2009 WASHINGTON—In a display of weakness unbecoming a head of state, President Barack Obama concluded remarks to the nation Tuesday by asking a...
Most Momentous Achievements In The Earthly History Of SportSportsgraphic • ISSUE 45•30 • Jul 20, 2009 3,500 B.C.: China invents competition, victory 490 B.C.: Pheidippides runs the 26.2 miles to Athens from the...
Women's Gymnastics: The New Baseball?Sports News in Brief • ISSUE 45•30 • Jul 20, 2009 UNITED STATES OF AMERICA—As baseball continues to die a slow, strangled death across the country, many are correctly wondering if women's...
One In 3 Ticks Carry Lyme DiseaseAmerican Voices • ISSUE 45•30 • Jul 20, 2009 A survey of deer ticks in Minnesota revealed that about a third of them carried Lyme disease. What do you think?
U.S. Falls Short Of SuccessNews in Brief • ISSUE 45•30 • Jul 20, 2009 WASHINGTON—According to sources, the United States has once again failed to be successful this week. It is widely believed that the U.S., a...
Nation Exhibits Strange Preoccupation With Manner In Which Food Is ProcessedNews in Brief • ISSUE 45•30 • Jul 20, 2009 NEW YORK—For reasons too difficult to comprehend, the unnecessarily fretful and anxious nation of United States continues its odd obsession...
Paul Reiser, Benevolent Possessor Of Many American Hearts, Looking To DirectNews in Brief • ISSUE 45•30 • Jul 20, 2009 HOLLYWOOD, CA—Paul Reiser, situation comedy megastar, celebrity legend, and beloved creator of laughter, brought much joy to his tens of...