The Onion

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Aid Workers Stealing Children

Several French aid workers are charged with trying to smuggle 103 children they claimed were orphans from Darfur, but in reality were children with living parents from Chad. What do you think?

Old Man

Gery Weidemeyer,
Waste Management Worker
"I'm outraged that my Darfur orphan may just be a cheap Chadian knockoff."

Young Woman

Cathy Terrell,
Systems Analyst
"We all know Mr. and Mrs. Oueddei weren't giving their son the support he needed to become a successful subsistence farmer."

Asian Man

Hal Getrust,
Cabinet Maker
"My guess is the non-orphan issue would be moot a year or two from now."

All American Voices

Personal of the Day