The Onion

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Al-Qaeda Recruiting Western-Looking Operatives

Central Intelligence Director Michael Hayden said on Meet The Press that al-Qaeda was training operatives who "look Western" in order to pass undetected. What do you think?

Old Man

Nick Causey,
Doorman
"Oh my god, my neighbor looks Western!"

Young Woman

Becky Teasley,
Importer
"You mean someone who looks as white as Timothy McVeigh might be a terrorist?"

Asian Man

Keith DelBueno,
Database Administrator
"Given the 10-year lag in pop-culture transference, the CIA should keep an eye out for terrorists who look like the cast of Mad About You."

Personal of the Day