The Onion

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Aqua Teen Payout Force

Turner Broadcasting has promised to pay the City of Boston $2 million to compensate for the cost of removing illegally placed promotional signs that were thought to be bombs. What do you think?

Young Woman

Penelope LaCroix,
Poker Dealer
"That's a lot, but think of how much they would have had to pay the City of Boston if they had actually been real bombs."

Black Man

Carter Clay,
Systems Analyst
"Boston reacted correctly–authorities there are obviously aware of the new terrorist trend of bringing as much attention as possible to hidden explosive devices."

Young Man

Ted Bonello,
Paramedic
"What about all the Cheers shit you used to see around town? Man, that used to freak me out all the time."

All American Voices

Personal of the Day