The Onion

Monday, April 14, 2008

Bed Found In Fundamentalist Temple

Authorities searching a temple in the Texas compound of the Fundamentalist Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints found a bed they believe was where underage brides were forced to have sex with their new husbands. What do you think?

Young Man

Paul Oswald,
Systems Analyst
"What do these girls want, a throne?"

Old Woman

Theresa Kurtz,
Mail Sorter
"Hey, they bought the calf, so the veal wasn't free."

Old Man

Jeff Cafarelli,
Quality Assurance Manager
"How do they know that's what the bed was used for? Did they smell it?"

Personal of the Day