The Onion

Friday, April 4, 2008

Bernanke Says Recession Possible

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said that the United States would face stagnation, and possibly recession, in the first half of 2008. What do you think?

Young Woman

Heather Pierce,
Systems Analyst
"Poor guy. Is he really the last person they told?"

Young Man

Colin Morrison,
Customs gent
"Oh yeah? Then how do you explain the $5 bill I just found on the sidewalk?"

Black Man

Rob Dotson,
Salesperson
"As a T.J. Maxx employee, I've boosted the confidence of every consumer in the store by giving them compliments and winking at them."

Personal of the Day