The Onion

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Britney Loses Custody Of Children

A judge ruled Monday that Britney Spears must surrender custody of her two sons to ex-husband Kevin Federline because of her alleged substance abuse. What do you think?

Young Woman

Tessa Stokler,
Taxidermist
"Isn't there another relative or perhaps a perfect stranger the kids could live with?"

Black Man

Sam Adkins,
Systems Analyst
"God, I hope there's some high-stakes poker game Federline could lose them in."

Young Man

Chuck Strange,
Clothing Inspector
"At least now she'll have time to do more drugs and have more kids."

All American Voices

Personal of the Day