The Onion

Friday, March 30, 2007

Burger King Going Cageless

Burger King announced that it would begin buying pork and eggs from farms that do not cage or crate their animals. What do you think?

Old Woman

Priya Shenoy,
Produce Manager
"As a regular Burger King patron, I don't think I could make it any more clear that I don't give a flying fuck what I put into my body."

Old Man

Derrick Braswell,
Customer Support Operator
"But the cages were what pushed all the flavor tight into the animals."

Young Man

Pete DuMont,
Systems Analyst
"Now all that's left for them to do is to stop buying from farms that feed their livestock Burger King."

All American Voices

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