The Onion

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Bush: Keep Abstinence In AIDS Plan

President Bush wants to keep a contested provision in his global AIDS package in which one-third of all prevention spending goes to abstinence education. What do you think?

Old Man

Roger Davidson,
Health Inspector
"How much was allocated to dry-humping and finger-banging education?"

Young Woman

Amanda Troughton,
Apartment Manager
"This is fine as long as the other two-thirds is going towards funding cutting-edge abstinence research."

Asian Man

Duncan Pertwee,
Library Aide
"Exactly how much money does it cost to tell people not to have sex with each other?"

All American Voices

Personal of the Day