The Onion

Monday, March 12, 2007

Caffeinated Donut Invented

Molecular biologist Robert Bohannon has created pastries with the caffeine equivalent of two cups of coffee. What do you think?

Old Man

Doug Thewlis,
Systems Analyst
"Wouldn't it be easier to just make coffee-soluble doughnuts?"

Old Woman

Brittain Mosby,
Pastor
"That's fine for people who like to be alert and productive, but what about the rest of us?"

Young Man

Kevin March,
Nanny
"Will America embrace this new product? Only time will—oh, yes, it appears they will."

All American Voices

Personal of the Day