The Onion

Friday, March 9, 2007

Captain America Killed

Captain America, the comic book character created during World War II as a patriotic opponent of the Nazis, was killed by sniper bullets in a recent comic. What do you think?

Old Woman

Monica Chan,
Systems Analyst
"But who will avenge him? If only there were a group of 'avengers,' if you will, organized for that purpose."

Old Man

Herbert Mandelbaum,
Archivist
"Yet another intelligence failure by S.H.I.E.L.D.. How many more screwups must we endure before Bush fires Executive Director Nicholas Fury?"

Black Man

Diego Lopez,
Florist
"Oh, man! Why are all the really cool assassinations wasted on make-believe people?"

Personal of the Day